March 24, 2011

Letter to America

Dear America,

Please find below a suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks and car companies, that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan:

There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

4) They MUST send their kids to school / college /university - Crime Rate fixed.

5) Buy $50 of alcohol / tobacco / petrol a week - There's your money back in duty / tax etc.

6) All social and health programs should be set up properly and in a 'democratic manner' as in democrats..

7) Stream line the armed forces and treat the men that come back better than those that came back from Vietnam.

8) As more money will probably be needed, have all members of the Congress and Senate give back their falsely claimed expense and second home allowances and pay the armed forces. Then if there is any money left use it to defend other countries.

It couldn't get any easier than that!

Yours truly,

Ordinary Joe American

Note: This is not an original letter. My girlfriend sent this to me but as a letter to the prime minister of Canada. English isn't the only thing that the USA and Canada have in common. Thanks Muriel.