February 20, 2010

On Valentines and Memories


Well Valentine's Day has come and gone. I have been thinking about Valentine's past and one in particular came to mind. My very first one here in Oklahoma City with Tom my husband in 1999. It had snowed the day before and it was very slippery on the roads when the 14th arrived. Tom had wanted to make a afternoon and night of it. Go and do some shopping; then take me out to dinner. I told him it was fool hardy to go out in the bad weather; so we checked the freezer, took out a couple of steaks, and had a lovely dinner at home. We spent the evening watching 'Kiss The Girls' with Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd. I am a huge Morgan Freeman fan; so that is why I remember the title.

Well after the movie we were sitting on the couch talking about the film; then we drifted into a discussion on relationships. Tom and I concluded that our relationship was the only time in our lives that we were both in love and not in love with the idea of a relationship. It was probably the first time in our lives that either of us were fully committed. Most of all both of us were absolutely amazed that all this came to us in our 50's.

I should tell you why I am writing about this little slice of my life. Since then, I have come to a conclusion. I would not change a day of my life. Yes I had three marriages, plagued with conflict; but I have three beautiful children to show for them, whom I love dearly. Yes the man that I fell in love with in mid-life, passed away from cancer in 2001. But at least I experienced three rapturous years of bliss with him. He loved me enough that he told me not to stay alone after he had gone; but implored me to choose wisely.

I have found out that life begins anew with each day that comes. Experience is merely the unfolding of those days. Mind you one has to be a participant and not just an observer in their lives. I have a few suggestions for the young, not that they will necessarily be taken. Although, I would rather see someone use my hard earned understanding in their 20's or 30's rather than later in life. Focus in on what you want in your life, find a true and authentic belief system, and act on things only after you meditate or pray or whatever way you talk to your God.

Like all musings; this one too, is highly subjective, simple, and reflective. What is going to happen next? I don't know for sure; but whatever it is will be infinitely more sane than the kinds of relationships that I had in my first 30 years.