November 4, 2007

Catnap


I have been trying to figure out just what to do to make a living on the net. When I originally started this blog, it was going to be a part of a membership site. Right now I cannot afford to dally about with it. So I have decided to turn this into a more personal blog were I can write some of the things twirling around in my gray mater. I will succeed in business but it probably would be better to do it elsewhere. I am compelled to use this space as a place where my racing mind takes a break and perhaps gains some serenity.

I have a very close girlfriend who is moving up North and part of me was truly happy for her when I heard the news. However, there was another side, if I am honest that definitely was a little envious because she is doing it before me. You see, I have been talking about leaving this part of the country for the past 3 years. However, after being on the phone with her the other day I realized just how absolutely stressed out she was I started feeling very empathetic towards her. If I am to go ahead with my plan to move north I must impliment my common sense very soon. I know now that I must have a 'blueprint' to get from here to there. I need to find a way of dealing with the tangible things so that my inner life remains calm and the stress doesn't get the better of me.

Every time I think of making the move I become overwhelmed thinking about all the sorting, discarding, packing, and the decisions that go with that territory. At those moments I hear my Mother's voice say, 'Where there is a will there is a way'. I wonder now if it isn't a mad woman's mission to move so far away. It feels almost impossible at times for me, to be even considering the task of moving house and home at my age. Hey I know - I not getting older but better. However its another thing to tell my back and bones that sweet homely. I think maybe going slightly crackers in this instance is one prerogative. Perhaps the best thing to do is just try to write triumphantly and continue attempting to be the very best I can be moment to moment.

I need a good nap and a cat to talk to now.