Bits and Bytes from Ruth's Gray Matter.

Holiday Blues

2012-01-19T12:53:00.007-06:00

Well here it is the 19th of the month and I really am suffering from after holiday blues. I think it is because I haven't seen any of my children or grandchildren since I got back in July.

Life is so fleeting I wonder why people aren't more forthcoming when you need to hear from them. I am trying my best to keep my chin up, be strong, and optimistic. Sometimes it is hard to tell just where you are at with things from one day until the next.

The weather outside certainly doesn't make life wonderful. Arthritis doesn't fair so well in cold or inclement weather. I try to be optimistic, fill my days with writing, see my friends and look after Dylan but it often isn't enough. I am trying to make make some money so that I can afford little luxuries. But they are hollow compared to the emotional ties that are missing in my life.

Perhaps the Universe, in its own perverse way is handing me a sentence of some kind. I don't really know; but if it is it seems to be doing the trick as far as making me sad, hurt, and confused.

However; like my Mother I do believe that every cloud has a silver lining and that if you get lemons you should make lemonade so I will continue to work at being optimistic and positive about life.

The Holiday Season of 2010/2011.

2012-01-02T00:53:00.009-06:00

Well I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and enjoyed New Years Eve and Day as well! I decided this year not to make any resolutions but to give myself a break and accomplish what I could naturally do without the stress of a list. Any time I have written a list of resolutions I have been really disappointed with myself. If I just stick to my habit of setting small goals every week then perhaps at the end of the year I will have accomplished some really neat larger goals.

I had a really quiet Christmas and New Years this year and I really did enjoy myself. We had a traditional turkey dinner for Christmas and a quiche at New Years. I think we will have the ham we thought we would have on New Years Day later in the week. In any case, we certainly did not starve. My girlfriend and housemate and I ate well over the holidays.

Just Too Much Christmas And New Years This Year!

This past Christmas seems to be to have been a lot less commercial for me as well. That really made it seem more like the ones in my childhood. Our Christmas tree was adorned with a lot of home crafted ornaments and we tried to just take each thing as it came instead of planning every second out. I am so glad it was so quiet and laid back. It gave me a chance to meditate on what Christmas is all about and to enjoy it all the more.

Twenty- Five Shopping Days Until Christmas.

2011-11-29T12:44:00.027-06:00

I often wonder what this fascination with counting down 'till Christmas is all about. Don't these people know that the whole season flies past for us older folks? Why on earth can't people savor these things???? Give me time to take a look at the old tree and decide if I want to buy a real one or a new artificial tree. Do I want to get a sweater for the dog or a slicker? What can I get for the grand-kids? My kids? My close friends? The weird thing is when you and I figure all this out it will probably be within seconds of our last breath. 'Kids your Mom has found out something important.' Every one draws near and you or I breathe our last puff of air. I think what I am saying is this; none of it counts a fig in the Big Picture! What counts is the way we celebrate Christmas.

Which leads me to this bone of contention. Christmas is ....now wait for this brain storm....entirely too commercial. I absolutely rue the day some idiot shortened the word Christmas to Xmas. To me that is absolutely sacrilegious. Come on folks show a little respect. Christmas is literally the Mass of Christ. Hello people! We are still in a Christian country. Those who are citizens or legal immigrants; whose traditions and faiths come from another culture, you know you are welcomed to celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Eid Al Adha, the Festival of the Sacrifice in this country. However, remember also that the Christian traditions of Christmas should take precedence outside of your home or places of worship. Nor is it good manners, for instance, to give those who man the Salvation Army Kettles dirty looks just because they say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays in their own Christian country.

This celebration isn't about Walmart, the Grinch, or how much loot you get on the morning of the 25th. It is about THE BABE IN A MANGER IN BETHLEHEM. I am not against the different Christmas animations or stories like 'A Christmas Carol'. Nor am I against all the lovely customs that come with this time of year from Canada and from other lands; but let us remember that this day is to celebrate Jesus Christ's birthday in this country of Canada.

My last pet peeve is this. Every year the magic goes out of Christmas a little more for our children at an increasingly younger age. Why are people so anxious for children to grow up so fast? Heck, the other day I saw a girl no older than 7 getting her eye brows plucked in a ladies salon, on television. It is crazy and foolish the way the media, parents and peers seem to take joy in ripping away a girl's or boy's childhood. Things like the wonder and magic of the Christmas story, friends and family together for their Yuletide feast, Saint Nick's visitation, including a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, and the caroling services at churches across the land on Christmas Eve or Day seem to be fading into the past. Put a little time into starting or maintaining some lovely old Christian traditions. Please stop the insanity and help a child stay in their childhood for another year. Keep your big mouth shut!

Now I am going to close my mouth and let you maul over my words. In any case remember the Babe, the reason we celebrate, and enjoy this season.

Funny Situation.

2011-11-20T14:25:00.014-06:00

Last year at this time I was celebrating the American Thanksgiving. This year, as I am in my own country once more; I celebrated Harvest Home or Thanksgiving here in Canada this past October 10th. So I begin this blog by extending a hearty 'Happy Thanksgiving' to our southern neighbors.

I feel that I am in a 'funny' or unique situation. I watch all that is going on around me and realize that I am one of probably many; that won't be spending Christmas with their children. One of my children is far away, another still isn't speaking to me; as they haven't for at least the last 12 years and the last is having personal challenges. So no grandchildren climbing on my knee.

When I was young and right up to my thirties, my siblings and I and our respective families always spent Christmas with our family. That is with my Mom and Dad. Now that both our parents are gone, we don't get together and that saddens me a great deal. The traditions that went with our Christmases past seem to have disappeared. The promise and hope that they came with those traditions have become invisible.

All this brings me to this clear and obvious point. When you have an opportunity to have good times with family and /or friends enjoy them because you never know when they will end. Think hard and long; as to who are the important people in your life. Once you decipher who are the main folks for you; make sure that they feel their importance all the time, not just on holidays. I can tell you one thing for sure, hindsight is always better than foresight. But if you think before you act, you may be fortunate enough not to have that running through your mind a few years from now.

The other thing that has come to mind about relationships and the holidays is this idea. If you want to give something to someone you love and don't have much dough then use your imagination and think of something nice you can create for them. Better something from the heart than nothing at all! Whether you give them a piece of clothing or a an ornament you make or write a poem or short story; it will be appreciated as you are giving of yourself. Don't leave things till the last minute; whether store bought or homemade gifts are given. Be ahead of deadlines in all projects or you will be feeling bad because Sue got hers and Jane didn't. Most of all enjoy all the time you spend shopping or creating for or visiting with your special people. Be good company when you are with the folk that are so dear to you. That way you will probably have a chance to see them on the next occasion.

Last; but not least, don't whine about all the things that didn't happen last year or the conflicts that did etc. Stay in the moment and give of yourself without being a miser or placing limitations on the occasion, the people or yourself.

Note: Believe when I say that I wrote that last bit for myself as much as you folks!

Lest We Forget.

2011-11-11T10:00:00.006-06:00

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

An amazing photo by Brian Jason Bedford

2011-11-09T06:36:00.005-06:00

I think this is so necessary especially in these times of recession. I believe that people should have this in mind before they make any decisions. They just may make fewer decisions that damage their relationships with others. It might also encourage people to ask the opinions of those who will be affected by their decision. It would probably make everyone happier; if we could all follow through on what we say or promise more often than not.

Spooks and Spirits Time!

2011-10-28T15:47:00.025-05:00

Halloween for most of us who have had children was the time of year for collecting candy and playing small harmless pranks; thus the expression "Trick or Treat". It is when the Catholic Church and some Protestant churches celebrate the lives of all saints, known and unknown. The eve of All Saints is known as All Hallows Eve, or Halloween. All Saints Day is November 1. On All Saints Day, we celebrate these saints of the Lord, and ask for their prayers and intercessions. The idea of All Saints Day is tied to the concept of the Communion of Saints. Catholic and Orthodox Christians believe that the saints of God are just as alive as you and I, and are constantly interceding on our behalf. Remember, our connection with the saints in heaven is one grounded in a tight-knit communion. The saints are not divine, nor omnipresent or omniscient. However, because of our common communion with and through Jesus Christ, our prayers are joined with the heavenly community of Christians.

However, most protestant Christians do not celebrate this day as Hallows Eve but as Halloween. Halloween is an annual holiday observed on October 31, which commonly includes activities such as trick-or-treating, attending costume parties, carving jack-o'-lanterns, bonfires, apple bobbing, visiting haunted attractions, playing pranks, telling scary stories, and watching horror films.

Some folklorists believe its origins to be in the Roman feast of Pomona celebrating the goddess of fruits and seeds. The festival of the dead called Parentalia, more typically linked to the Celtic festival of Samhain. The name of the festival historically kept by the Gaels and Celts in the British Isles is derived from Old Irish and means roughly "summer's end". Later Irish, Welsh, and Scottish folklore use it as a setting for supernatural encounters; but there is no evidence that it was connected with the dead in pre-Christian times, or that pagan religious ceremonies were held. The Irish myths which mention Samhain were written in the 10th and 11th centuries by Christian monks. This is around 200 years after the Catholic church inaugurated All Saints Day and at least 400 years after Ireland became Christian. The word Halloween was first seen in the 16th century and represents a Scottish variant of the fuller All-Hallows-Even or evening. Although the phrase All Hallows is found in Old English, All-Hallows-Even is itself not attested until 1556.

All the Halloween symbols are taken from many sources, including national customs, works of Gothic and horror literature and classic horror films. Among the earliest works on the subject of Halloween is from Scottish poet John Mayne in 1780, who wrote about pranks being pulled at Halloween. Robert Burns' Halloween 1785 made the idea of ghosts and ghouls running around on Halloween quite popular. Elements of the autumn season, such as pumpkins, corn husks, and scarecrows, are also prevalent. Homes are often decorated with these types of symbols around Halloween. The carving of jack-o'-lanterns springs from the souling custom of carving turnips into lanterns as a way of remembering the souls held in purgatory. The turnip has traditionally been used in Ireland and Scotland at Halloween; but immigrants to North America used the larger, more available, native pumpkin. The American tradition of carving pumpkins is recorded in 1837. It was originally associated with harvest time in general, not becoming part of the Halloween celebration until the mid-to-late 19th century. Other Halloween symbols include death, evil, the occult, or mythical monsters. Black and orange are the holiday's traditional colors.

Trick-or-treating is a customary celebration for children on Halloween. Children go in costume from house to house, asking for treats such as candy or sometimes money, with the question, "Trick or treat?" The word "trick" refers to a "threat" to perform mischief on the homeowners or their property if no treat is given. In some parts of Scotland children still go guising. In this custom the child performs some sort of trick, like singing a song, or telling a ghost story, to earn their treats.

The practice of dressing up in costumes and begging door to door for treats on holidays dates back to the Middle Ages and includes Christmas wassailing. Trick-or-treating resembles the late medieval practice of souling, when poor folk would go door to door on Hallowmas (November 1), receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls' Day (November 2). This tradition started in Ireland and Britain, although similar practices for the souls of the dead were found as far south as Italy. Shakespeare mentions the practice in his comedy The Two Gentlemen of Verona (1593). In Scotland and Ireland, Guising is a traditional Halloween custom. It is recorded in Scotland at Halloween in 1895 where masqueraders in disguise carrying lanterns made out of scooped out turnips, visited homes to be rewarded with cakes, fruit and money. The practise of Guising at Halloween in North America is first recorded in 1911, where a newspaper in Kingston, Ontario reported children going "guising" around the neighborhood.

American historian and author Ruth Edna Kelley of Massachusetts wrote the first book length history of the holiday in the U.S; The Book of Halloween (1919.) Americans have adopted these practices. They are making this an occasion something like what it must have been in its best days overseas. All Hallowe'en customs in the United States are borrowed directly or adapted from those of other countries.The earliest known use in print of the term "trick or treat" appears in 1927, from Blackie, Alberta, Canada. The thousands of Halloween postcards produced between the turn of the 20th century and the 1920s commonly show children but they are not trick-or-treating. Trick-or-treating does not seem to have become a widespread practice until the 1930s, with the first U.S. appearances of the term in 1934, and the first use in a national publication occurring in 1939.

Halloween costumes are traditionally modeled after supernatural figures such as monsters, ghosts, skeletons, witches, and devils. However; with the passage of time, the costume selection extended to include popular characters from fiction, celebrities, and generic archetypes such as ninjas and princesses. Costuming became popular for Halloween parties in the US in the early 20th century. Just as often for adults as for children. The first mass-produced Halloween costumes appeared in stores in the 1930s. Halloween costume parties generally fall on, or around, 31 October, often falling on the Friday or Saturday prior to Halloween.

Because the holiday comes in the middle of the annual apple harvest, candy apples or toffee apples are great Halloween treats made by rolling whole apples in a sticky sugar syrup, followed by rolling them in nuts. At one time, candy apples were commonly given to children, but the practice stopped fast because of widespread rumors that some individuals were embedding items like pins and razor blades in the apples. While there is evidence of such incidents, they are quite rare and have never resulted in serious injury. However; many parents assumed that such horrible practices were going on because of the mass media. At the peak of the hysteria, some hospitals offered free X-rays of children's Halloween hauls in order to find evidence of tampering. One custom that persists in modern-day Ireland is the baking of a barmbrack. This is a light fruitcake, into which a plain ring, a coin and other charms are placed before baking. It is said that those who get a ring will find their true love in the ensuing year. This is similar to the tradition of king cake at the festival of Epiphany.

Notice: All information for this article was taken from Wikipedia.

Experiencing God!

2011-10-28T08:27:00.015-05:00

I feel as though I have been traveling for most my life. Well of course, I have physically moved from place to place; but my spiritual journey is more what I am contemplating.

These days it doesn't seem as though people like to hear you say anything about your faith; but at this time in my life particularly I am not very interested in keeping myself aligned with the status quo. I am more concerned with my relationship with the Almighty. I want to make it clear; that what I am about to say, has nothing to do with Jim Carey, George Burns, or any other Hollywood idea of the divine. Sometimes, I wonder if all the speculation, comedy, sarcasm, and inappropriate drama around the subject, from that quarter, isn't doing more harm than good. But that is another subject entirely. Not even going to broach that one.

At present, I am involved in a bible study; that talks about how we humans can go about really 'experiencing' God. I have learned so far that a lot of my ideas were sort of impractical and unfounded in a lot of ways. For instance, the word servant has always meant to me a person employed by another, especially to perform domestic duties or a person in service of another. This isn't a workable definition when it comes to a the reality of our relationship with God. To be a servant of God is quite another thing. God tells us that He does His divine work through us. That we can do nothing, for him, on our own. Not even, Jesus does anything on his own. The Father works through Him as he he works through us. This is illustrated in John 5: 17, 19-20. Well that is one of the paths I am taking spiritually in my life at present.

On a less theological note, I wanted to say in this blog; that I am taking the sidebar update off my blog today. Having it on a site that I see many times a month does not help me forgive and forget these people. I will leave it on the other site as I have rewritten it to be a little less mean spirited. It has to be out there; as a sort of warning to others who find themselves on their own.

Note: The book 'Experiencing God' by Henry & Richard Blackaby and Claude King is the one I am in the studying within a group.

Fighting the Battle!

2011-10-16T12:06:00.013-05:00

Just got back from worship service. I know I don't usually talk about my faith on my blog but today I am going to touch on a few things I think and believe. The Pastor's talk was all about which battles to choose and who chooses them. She pointed out that our battles belong to the Lord and all of them needed God's strategy. (Joshua - chapters 5 and 6 )

Well my discovery for today is this: Most of my battles are the kind that I have to let go of now. I cannot keep digging them up and dusting them off. That is like saying to the God of my understanding; "Father, you didn't do a good enough job in fighting for me in the first place!" Every day in every way it is becoming more and more clear that there is a God and I am not Him. I must recognize that He did do a great job from the start. He could not have helped it. He is omnipotent and therefore perfect in everything He does. All that I can or should do is follow His guidance and all the good results in my life; are ultimately to His glory.

Life is not boring. It is up to us to be enthusiastic and make the most of the day! The God of my understanding wants me to be Joyful and in the moment!

Okay having said that, with His help, I have resolved to be less timid when I want to do something, curious enough to explore, a little more aware of all the talents that He has given me, and be Joyful in living life!

Thankful But In Pain.

2011-10-10T15:31:00.009-05:00

First Canadian Thanksgiving I have had in a decade. Friday passed without a hitch, thank goodness. Saturday passed quite uneventfully until my niece and sister picked me up around 5:30 pm to go out for dinner and to the Observatory. We had a lovely dinner at Swiss Chalet. But it was quite exorbitant considering the food was the same as in the 90's and the noise factor was far too loud for comfort. We finally arrived at the Observatory around 8:30 pm. It took us another 10 minutes to get from where we parked to the Observatory entrance. When we got to the door the guide told us we had to go to another building to get tickets. While my niece went to get the tickets, my sister and I waited on the lawn for her.

When she returned she told us that it was not accessable to those who had disabilities. So my sister and I couldn't go but we encouraged my niece to go ahead. We waited about half and hour and she came back and said that it was going to be another hour till she would get in there to look through the telescope. She decided to go for a refund; which the girls in the other building gave her. Needless to say we were all glad to get back to the car. My niece had a hard time turning around on a undersized "2 lane dirt road". We finally made our way out of there.

The thing is this. When my niece went to the site for this Observatory which houses one of the largest telescopes; if not the largest, in North America she was sort of disappointed. The design of the site is very poor and the information limited. If some American concern was trying to tell people about the site, you can be sure that it would have fireworks on a video and they would be bragging about their telescope like crazy. Now, there is nothing wrong with that is there? So how come we Canadians are so overtly modest about the neat things we have in our country????

Okay, yesterday morning my housemate upstairs went to hospital from church as she was in pain with a digestive condition. I often watch the television upstairs but her dog wanted out so I put her on her outdoor leash. It came time to bring her in after night had fallen naturally. Yours truly took a header onto the cement steps after tripping on the dog's leash and a hose that had been left in the same vicinity. I think I strained my all ready arthritic legs and my left arm so that will take awhile to heal. However I scraped my face up a bit and that isn't comfortable either. What I dislike about it, is people notice and then ask me what happened. If I hadn't scraped up my face there wouldn't be any questions. However, one of the gentleman downstairs helped me out by giving me first aid which I though very gallant.

Today I went with my friend for breakfast and spent the rest of the day around home but away from the front steps. I used the side door as an extra safety measure.

Again, Happy Thanksgiving folks!

Three Thoughts

2011-09-28T11:56:00.026-05:00

I have three thoughts to cover today aside from this one. I am missing my kitties; Morin and Teddybear. Now for my three cogitations, here goes!

I feel as though the time has come to just go ahead and forget what has gone before June of 2011. I won't forget the lovely memories I have made. However; I will strive to forget all the negative people, things, and the nightmare that was part of my experience at the end on Long Island. There is nothing to be gained in their remembrance. I am working everyday to make my space a positive environment for Dylan and myself. It is important to feel comfortable where we live. So I am trying to decorate it so it feels like our own home. I do need a dresser, a bookshelf and a display case or cabinet; so I am on the look out for somethings that will do the job.

On to the second thought. I really enjoy the net but sometimes one can chat too much and the real world suffers. I do know some people that have absolutely ignored important messages I have sent them. I believe we have to keep the real world and the virtual world in perspective. It is very important to do this, just so one doesn't read too much into what people say on a chat, message system or phone. Beware also of scam artists trying to rip off your identity; whether they are people you think you may know or not. Report any bogus banks and financial institutions you get in your email as well. Having said that I have a lot of good honest old friends online and enjoy chatting with them often.

The last and third thought is about the winter 'garden' I propose to grow. I want to put up a shelf on my insulated basement window so I can grow some simple pots of Rosemary, Basil, Thyme, Cherry Tomatoes and some sort of greens. I need salads and zing in my diet. I may even want to grow some chickweed. I am also looking for any articles on 'spelt'. One of my dearest relatives has told me that baking with 'spelt' and substituting it for bread would do a great deal of good for my health. If anyone has done this please leave a comment and website source with it.

Well that is all for this posting. See you again in October.

Note: The young baker was supplied with oven mitts so he would not burn his paws.

Brunch!

2011-09-12T07:35:00.043-05:00

This past weekend brought all kinds of surprises!

I thought that I was going to succumb to pneumonia before Thursday night ended. But alas! I was even more miserable with the same flu-like symptoms the next day. My friend and landlady had her hubby drop off a bottle of ginger ale and subsequently she dropped off some Fowlers; aka Dr Fowlers, on Friday and the makings of Lemon Balm Tea on Saturday. By Saturday night; after being looked after through all the symptoms of this illness by my in house friend and the other lady above, I was actually feeling better.

Well the point of all this is I ended up being able to keep my brunch date on Sunday with my family. My second oldest sister, niece, and sister by marriage that live here in my area and I were brunching with my third oldest sister on her yearly trip from her home in Australia. I had not seen

her in person for over 20 years. She looked remarkably young and much the same as I remember her. We do keep in touch but nothing is better than being face-to-face.

All of us went to a restaurant I had not heard of before. It is part of a chain in Canada called Cora's. They only serve breakfast. The establishment serves a lot of luscious, fresh, fruit along with the usual bacon and eggs. They open at six in the morning and close at four in the afternoon. Their menu is gargantuan. Everything was absolutely delicious. We all had a lovely time together. I just wish that my visiting sister and I had been able to have more time to ourselves; but time constraints and a busy schedule made that impossible. Perhaps next year will be different now that I live in the same area as everyone else. At any rate, it was lovely to see her.

The occasion also gave my dog, Dylan a chance to shine. Unfortunately, I had to go back to my niece's place for a second time. Suffice to say, I had to walk with him over to 'hear the Boxer and the Dandie Dinton bark' after I had already been dropped off after brunch. I'd left my purse in my sister-in-law's car like an addle-brained old aunt. She drove 6 to 10 miles just to return me my handbag. Even though she has a cat, she seemed quite taken with Dylan; when she met him on her second trip. I was extremely surprised when she drove Dylan and I to the park across from my home in her nearly new Hyundai. My visiting sister stayed home to pack for her plane trip this morning. By the end of the day, I was still full and definitely ready for bed.

Unfortunately for the week of September 12th to the 18th the flu came back with a vengeance on Tuesday! So now I have been sick up to this past Saturday. (Sept. 17th) and just feeling better again. Maybe this time I can truly declare - 'This too shall pass!' - with conviction.

Note: Every animal pictured in this article is owned by one of my siblings, my niece, or myself. The Labrador-German Shepherd mix lives in Australia, the Dandie Dinmont Terrier lives with my niece and sister along with her Boxer in this area, as does my sister-in-law and her Bengal Cat, and of course Dylan, my precious Pomeranian.
*By the way the stats ran dogs 4 and cats 1; but I wouldn't worry for the cat folks....Bengals are extremely powerful.

Pleasant Visit

2011-09-02T03:03:00.021-05:00

I am lucky enough to have some lovely relatives left on this old earth. I spent a wonderful afternoon this past week with my niece and sister. Let me tell you, the latter lady makes a mean macaroni salad (hmmm...try to say that real fast a number of times in a row). We had amazing banana bread with coffee when I arrived and then had lunch around 1pm. They have a lovely garden and my niece maintains it very well. It was quite mild so we ate in the garden. As usual my sister and I reminisced together over incidents that happened long ago. Here I am, to the right, in their garden; with Dylan, my Pomeranian.

Midweek the three of us visited Richmond Hill Public Library. Now there is an impressive building. I went up the elevator to the upper floors and looked out the windows. No word of a lie - I could see downtown Toronto. I was shocked to see a little kiosk on the main floor just inside the turnstiles. They sold coffee, tea and pastries. I guess its all part of the libraries attempt at trying to win back customers from the internet coffee bars and the internet in general.

Don't get me wrong. I love my P.C. I love posting on my blogs, working on my writing projects, and maintaining all my websites. But; I hope the day never comes when we don't read books, research in the library, and appreciate the written word printed on actual pages. Here is something really important to remember. If you drop a Kindle, while in the tub it's 'kindling'; but if you drop in a paperback then it will usually dry out.

Note: Got driven to the Ontario Service building to deal with health insurance. I won't be able to use OHIP until the month of December! Oh well just keep me in your prayers so I won't have accidents or get sick until after January.
*My sister is coming to visit people here in North America...sure will be nice to have her visit me before she goes back to Australia! *

New Perspective

2011-08-24T13:10:00.035-05:00

I, Dear Readers, have decided not to rail on anymore about my problems. I have made a decision to only write and try to think about what happens in my life that is positive for at least the next 2 or 3 months. So if there are not many posts in that time you will understand. I don't have anything to write about! Honestly though; I believe that should make my perspective sunnier. I know that I can't go into winter with this frame of mind or it just may turn into a very long, cold, depressing time.

So, in this happier frame of mind; I tell you that my friend in New York has said she has sent some more boxes of my possessions. My little dog Dylan continually is a source of fun and joy to me. I have a few new friends here along with the couple I have known for more years than any of us care to admit. I often have very intriguing and interesting conversations with these people and that is what I missed when I have been alone. I have enjoyed arranging my lovely buttercup yellow (yech) room quite nicely; although there is more to do to make it even more comfortable and homey. That is all good and positive!

I am going to a barbecue with my friend Ardelle on the weekend; which should be fun. We also intend to go to a backyard picnic after the Sunday service. I am enjoying church again every week and going to another kind of meeting semi-regularly. I am getting more work on the net daily. My spirit is getting lighter by the hour since I made my decision. Never know; I just may be dancing a jig soon.

Note: Got my 5th box from New York on Friday; but still waiting on the 4th. Glad to see the 6th box turn up Monday/today! Looking forward to the 7th box with all my cds and dvds that she said she would send. However I am still waiting on the 4th box.

Hauntings.

2011-08-20T06:10:00.022-05:00

Not by ghosts or spirits, but memories that are sometimes hard to take and sometimes welcome for a while. Still trying to get over the horrible nightmares that come with loss of any kind. But it will take time, patience and prayer.

I just wonder why I let people push me around sometimes. I think it is in my nature to try to make peace with people and to always think of how that other person must feel. The trouble with that way of thinking is I quite often end up getting burnt in some way.

Since 2001, I have lost nine people close to me; including my Mom, Brother, Husband and Boy Friend. Quite a few of those close to me have terminal illness or conditions, and it is a matter of time before they are gone. I wonder why God doesn't prepare us for this earlier in life so it isn't so devastating every time it happens. The loss of the ones I love is the hardest part of my life to accept.

But almost as hard is the loss of home and possessions. I wonder why people, when they are involved in dealing with others don't think in terms of 'how would I feel if this happened to me?' or more towards the idea of 'treating others as they would like to be treated'. If we are put in a position to view someone as a friend or acquaintance one minute and a stranger the next; it is a wonder that we aren't all grasping, money grubbing and mean by nature.

We never get over the loss of someone we love or anything for that matter; but we can learn to live with it hopefully and not let it haunt us.

Note: Please leave your opinions on this subject or any other of my blogs in comments below each posting.

Just Let Me Get Through This!

2011-08-04T05:25:00.028-05:00

Well folks I am here and I am still standing. I do want to begin to live life to the fullest once more. It will be and is different than before I met Dennis or Tommy. I pray I can get back to feeling like my old self again. After all that has and hasn't happened; it is going to be very hard to get back to 'normal'. It was a temporal and a financial impossibility for me to move all my things back here to Canada. As a result I have very few of my possessions left.

The one thing that would make life easier on me here, would be having a car. Unfortunately, buying a car is out of the question; much too expensive. Things would go better if I had my own transportation. I could go and get my health insurance, social insurance and Ontario drivers' license set up. Nothing is central here; that is to say the health is in one place, then 10 miles up the road is the social insurance, and the license is somewhere else.

I have had a lot of nightmares about the sad, horrible way, my late partner Dennis died. I am kind of hurt that I was not able to say goodbye to him properly. He did not have a real funeral or memorial service to my knowledge while I was there - ten days after his death. I have woken up in a cold sweat, a lot of nights lately. I find myself very angry at a lot of people for the course of events after his death. Everyone seemed to think a person my age, should be able to somehow read minds. That I should be able to 'get on with it' better than those who had been with their loved one for a longer period of time. Truth is that Dennis and I knew each other for over 6 years before we got together.

Then; if I am lucky enough to fall back to sleep, I end up dreaming about my late husband Tommy and his last days on this earth. The fact that I was not able to bring a lot of the many things that were given to me by my parents, siblings, children, Tommy and Dennis; is very hard to take.

Thank God; one kind person who was close to Dennis, has promised to send a few of my possessions to me. Of course I am paying the postage for the boxes; as I should.

Modern life is obviously not built to accommodate death, widows, or other loved ones. When someone dies, the consensus seems to be that the person's death is an outright inconvenience. That anyone really close to them must be 'dealt with' rather than comforted. Kind of makes me wonder about the 'human condition' or is that the 'condition of humans'?

I really don't know how the God of my understanding is using this mess to teach me; but I wish he would get on with it. This situation has been going on since I got here on May 25th; but more so since around June 13th. I thought these were supposed to be our golden years; when my partner and I would live out our lives in relative comfort. Makes you kinda wonder what on earth all the struggles throughout life were all about.

Ah well. I will have 'it' back together soon. It is that, just for the moment I have forgotten where I put 'it'.

Note: I got 3 boxes from New York. Hope to receive at least 4 or more.

Just A Thought

2011-07-26T16:59:00.022-05:00

The World is filled with so much good,
That brings us joy and pleasure,
But true fulfillment only comes...
When Christ, we love and treasure.

I am God's kid and have many different aspects to my personality. Any time I try to be the best I can be, I feel I am doing the God of my understanding's will. He guides me along my life's path every day. When someone suggests I do something in my life; be it big or small, I feel compelled to get His guidance.

I have an inquiring mind even now at the ripe old age of 63. I believe in being able to constantly redefine or tune-up my belief system. Basically speaking, I believe in the same things I did when I was confirmed at 12 years of age. Hopefully; with as much optimism and unyielding faith as I had then.

However, I do not believe blindly nor do I believe all of the same things others in any given church say I should. I believe that faith is personal and that intellect is a very tiny part of any act of faith. I believe it is done by and within the heart and soul of a person. I think that it is one of a very few emotion driven acts that are truly honest and valid. It is also the only act that is there when you wake up until you go to sleep at night. To me living in this world can be a celebration; if each breath and move you make, is part of that faith in action.

New Home!

2011-07-19T09:40:00.024-05:00

Well folks, I am still setting up my new home. I have a large room and I share kitchen privileges. Got a place for my dog, Dylan, and I to lay our weary heads and a place to work on my computer; so the important things are covered. The other cool thing about one room is there isn't much housework. There is a little park nearby, where we can grab some early morning exercise. According to Dylan that is around 7 am in the morning.

The neatest thing about it is that I am renting from one of my dearest friends. We have known each other for over 40 years. She has a garden in the backyard here; that she can enjoy to her hearts content. She has planted a lovely herb and flower garden. She comes over during the week and has mini-holidays from the stress of the outside world.

I am able to visit my oldest sister and my niece as they only live a couple of blocks away from me. I really enjoy that.

I am enjoying my days working away at my computer and setting up my business sites once and for all. Hopefully I shall be able to get it set up by the end of the summer. I will post a notice here when I have been able to do that.

A girl friend of mine is sending the few boxes I salvaged from all the possessions I moved with from Oklahoma to New York. I had to leave a great many things in New York. It has been very confusing and frustrating with the postal strike, Dennis' untimely death, and all. I hope that all the boxes I earmarked and their contents arrive intact just as I packed them.

If any of you live around the Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canada area just e-mail me at rdshultz@gmail.com and perhaps we can get in touch.

Talk to all of you next time ...and if you have a moment I sure would like to see a comment or two!

Good News Note: Glad to see that Barry, Dennis' brother, is out of the hospital as of July 23rd!

Agatha Christie Is Spot On!

2011-06-28T11:34:00.028-05:00

I offer this as an quote that represents some of my experience in all my travels since living here in Canada in 1998. Oh Agatha ...you were spot on then and you are now as well!

"You know the people who always have a noble and good reason to mask their meaner actions? The people who 'have to be honest' when they want to be unkind, who 'thought it their duty to repeat so and so' who are such hypocrites to themselves that they go through to their life's end convinced that every mean and beastly action was done in a spirit of unselfishness! Try and realize that the opposite of those people can exist, too. People who are so cynical, so distrustful of themselves and of life that they can only believe in their bad motives." -Quote from "Remembered Death' by Agatha Christie; author and observer of people and thus a philosopher.

I might add that there are also those of us who are manipulated because of our openness, by the above people and get shafted; because we foolishly and naively trust too readily.

Hopefully Get Canadian Ducks in a Row!

2011-05-30T09:11:00.002-05:00

Well folks in Canada now and becoming a refreshed Canadian citizen bit by bit. Looking into what I need to do here to get settled. Had to leave most of my things in the states. Hopefully those who are keeping the few things I boxed to mail to my new address here will do what they said they would. I will try to get back online permanently as soon as I possibly can.

Have to go home to Canada.

2011-05-21T11:28:00.009-05:00

Unfortunately I have to go home to Canada. I have a problem though. I must find a home temporary or other wise for two lovely, litter box trained, neutered, adult tabbies. I haven't been able to find a less expensive home here on LI for myself, my dog and my two kitties. I can only afford to take my dog with me. I have been trying to get them a place to go since my husband passed away on April 15th. Been working on this since I realized I would not get another home here at the end of April. The cats need a good home by May 23rd or morning of the 24th at latest. I feel very distraught and am worried sick about this problem. Surely there is someone that can pick them up right away as I have no car. If you love animals and can help me out please do! My phone number here at my soon to be old home is 516-454-2399. Please message me on twitter or face book before 12pm tonight or phone me as I will be off internet after 12pm.
Ruth Shultz
Please I need help!

Note: I was able to find a place for them thanks to the kindness of Oyster Bay Animal Shelter (no kill). With luck my babies will be adopted.

Need an Apartment!

2011-04-29T21:44:00.007-05:00

I need a place to lay my little head and nap with Mom!

With my loved one gone, I need to find a new apartment as I cannot afford the one we rented together. I haven't got enough money to go back to Oklahoma nor do I really want to return. I need a place that I can afford on Long Island, New York. I pray that I can find a studio apartment. Something that is nice and less expensive. I need a kitchenette, a half bath and a large area to live and sleep in. If there is anyone that knows of a place like the one shown here on craigslist; I would appreciate you replying to the advert. Don't people realize that there are people with modest incomes that are good honest folk who just need a home of their own? - that one little corner of the world where they can be themselves? Please reply if you can help as I need a place yesterday!

And we need a place to lay our heads and use our litter box!

Notice Of Passing From This World.

2011-04-17T22:32:00.021-05:00

Dennis Baer
13.12.1949 to 15.04.2011

I lost my partner in life unexpectedly of heart failure on Friday morning
at 11:30 P.M.

I am sad at his passing and will miss him for all time.

Note: I will not be posting anything for the rest April and most of May.

Letter to America

2011-03-24T06:51:00.024-05:00

Dear America,

Please find below a suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks and car companies, that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan:

There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

4) They MUST send their kids to school / college /university - Crime Rate fixed.

5) Buy $50 of alcohol / tobacco / petrol a week - There's your money back in duty / tax etc.

6) All social and health programs should be set up properly and in a 'democratic manner' as in democrats..

7) Stream line the armed forces and treat the men that come back better than those that came back from Vietnam.

8) As more money will probably be needed, have all members of the Congress and Senate give back their falsely claimed expense and second home allowances and pay the armed forces. Then if there is any money left use it to defend other countries.

It couldn't get any easier than that!

Yours truly,

Ordinary Joe American

Note: This is not an original letter. My girlfriend sent this to me but as a letter to the prime minister of Canada. English isn't the only thing that the USA and Canada have in common. Thanks Muriel.

Use Our Hearts!

2011-03-13T04:23:00.019-05:00

Here it is around 5 am and I haven't been able to sleep since I woke up at 3 am. Sometimes the restlessness comes from being a little older these days. I find it very strange and some what humorous being classified as a 'baby boomer'. After all I suppose I am in my second childhood; but it really shouldn't count!

I still think that Big Brother is watching us all; perhaps even more than in November 14th of last year; when I wrote an article with that title. I know for a fact no one has read my article entitled "Our Friends Deserve Better" from that same month; otherwise I think that the government would have been more forth coming. What is happening in these United States...heck the whole of North America, stinks! A lot of the things that make this nation fair and comfortable for the poor and middle class are evidently coming under the Republican sword. Things like unions that make sure people are treated fairly, all the many loan and grant programs so people can keep their homes, and proper health insurance for everyone that can't afford the horrible prices of modern medicine. It just might help to give fairer taxes instead of cuts to the rich. Much the same things are happening in my birth country of Canada. Honestly; if some of the Scandinavian countries can afford to have their citizens enjoy life to the extent they do, why can't this democracy in America continue to improve ours as well?

All of us, regardless of political persuasion, should just forget our differences, start thinking with our hearts and work together. Maybe then, we would have a chance of pulling this country out of the economic toilet in which it is drowning. Then all of us would be able to have a share in the American dream and it would no longer be a myth to the majority of people who live here. Perhaps then, there would be less jealousy and anger over who has what and why.

It saddens me deeply when I think what the children and grandchildren of our generation are going to have to face if we don't fix this dilemma. People came to this continent of North America to find self-respect, a more abundant life, and their own little piece of Eden. Unfortunately, no one was/is monitoring themselves as they go along in life. To have proper esteem for one's self one must respect others in all regards, to have a more abundant life one must fight for the rights of others and to have your own piece of Eden you must help others find theirs. The GOP are terrifically good at blaming the current president for all the ills befalling the USA now. However they seem to forget the horrific order of things thanks to their party and former Republican presidents; that Mr. Oboma inherited from them. Perhaps the majority party in the Capital should remember this and then maybe we can fix this mess that they have created.

Fun With A Business Feel

2011-03-08T14:47:00.009-06:00

I really love creating new articles and seem to have a small talent of being able to write one after the other on related subjects. Now as to whether they are good is something you should ask someone else as I am obviously bias. The writer within me is neither in a position to praise herself to the skies or to be extremely self-deprecating. However they can never really be completely honest about the quality of their own writing. At any rate I hope you do what the computer kitty to the right hand column wants you to and click on the 'here' and see for yourself.

I have been writing on one subject or another for years now. I started writing at the age of four. I believe I wrote an expose on what happened to my day- sitter's wallet. To say I was and am a rather intense character, would I believe; be an understatement. Have been intense most of my life. I think, for the most part, I have tried to enjoy life the very best I can; while hopefully not making other peoples' lives at all miserable. I try to be kind to others and to eat my vegetables every day.

So dear readers, I guess what I am saying is do the most, the best, and with happiest attitude that you can possibly muster. Oh and keep on dancing!

Survival Holistically?

2011-03-02T13:33:00.013-06:00

I have had a very unpleasant time for the past week or so. My osteoarthritis has plagued me terribly. I go to sleep sore, awake during my sleep hurting, and wake up in the morning stiff and in pain. I have been trying to find something that will give me some respite from this interminable pain. I try to minimize the the pain with naproxen sodium; but having used this a great deal it does not work as well as it did once.

"Okay", you say, "What has this to do with me?" I suppose it is one way of explaining why I haven't been posting here as much as I would like to have done. When I find it painful to type after awhile that is when I start thinking of purchasing Dragon Naturally Speaking. It is also a way of telling you that I am searching on the net for a better way of dealing with this pain holistically. I will keep you updated with all the holistic pain relievers I find. I have found a site which may help any of us suffering from osteoarthritis here .

eve but it doesn't seem to help me now as I ha..e used it for quite sometime. When I do somesehold chore; such as the dishes or cleaning the floor, I find myself having horrible pain in all my joints. Even typing at the computer causes a great deal of discomfort. I am very tempted to purchase 'Dragon Naturally Speaking', so that I have a minimum of typing.

On the up side, I am looking for and think that I may find a wholistic somewhere on the net. "Okay," you say, "What does this have to do with me?" Well I suppose it is my way of apologizing for not blogging as much as I wish I did.

Writing Puzzles Can Be Solved

2011-02-15T10:14:00.011-06:00

I think that today just may be one of those off days. Trying to figure out how to do things on my domain and not getting especially inspired. Thought I would think out loud to a degree and perhaps that would help. Word has it for a 'professional' domain to work you have to set it up in a particular manner. So there I was trying to be both inspired and constricted. :) That is so strained and strange. Okay so lets write freely then fit it into the plan. Yep that will work! If you understand what I just said you can use my new technique.

Writing is a delight. Except when you come up against the wall of writers block. But most times all you need to do is just to take a break from it and come back later when you have gotten some respite. This is the time when you usually can get the old creative juices flowing again.

What I usually do is just write and write and write until I can't stay awake; because I am on what is known as a 'roll'. Some people can go to sleep, wake up, and write again in the middle of a 'streak' like this. I can not do that. I have to work until I literally drop or I don't get all I need to get finished up. However; I must tell you this, Terry Pratchett said it best when he said, "Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself". It is my opinion that Mr. Pratchett is correct. I love writing... even enjoy writing for business projects. And if my writing helps me earn some money? - so much the better.

Pookie the Protestor Says .......

2011-02-09T09:26:00.011-06:00

Pookie the Protestor says; "Final Destination Van Lines should pay me in full for all and any extra expenses incurred!"

The Final Destination Movers caused me a great deal of mental anguish by treating my boxes on both ends of the move in a very rough manner. They were particularly careless on the New York end. They refused to move the living room hutch and buffet into our apartment for over an hour. I think it was because they found out our big bookcase would not fit so the silly man decided that nothing else would fit.

They left a great number of pieces out side by the walk. They finally put my hutch and my buffet in the living room area after throwing all the boxes hand over fist down to our basement apartment. The 'supervisor' was very rude with both of us. He would not heed a word of any sort of common sense. He was completely adamant that he was right and we were foolish old folks.

When they finally left, a lot of furniture was left sitting upstairs in outside. The large book case was left to rot for all the man cared. I spent too much of my money for them to treat me so shabbily!

Everything was delivered here from Oklahoma on May 31, 2010. We are both in our 60's and because of the callous way in which we were treated by these people I was very stressed out. I was so hurt and disappointed when I saw all the breakage, abused items, and missing things amongst our belongings. An example are the glass doors from our china hutch that they packed were smashed to smithereens.

We had to hire some local people because of the way they plunked everything down and would not complete the move properly. The folks here in New York were paid and were well worth it. They placed the rest of the furniture in our apartment. J & M were very respectful of our belongings and moved our furniture downstairs with great care. I had to get them to cut down the big bookcase so that we could get rid of it. If the Final Destinations people had done their job properly in the first place then we would not have had to pay extra money.

I will update you as to what is happening with the company as far as compensating us for this horrible experience.

Update: Have had a call into Sindy at Final Destination Van Lines, Inc. for the last 3 weeks and she has not phoned me back even though she said she would. I wanted to discuss the possibility of arbitration which is the next step after the 'complaint' company that handles angry customers let me down.

Update: My letter to Texas Attorney General was forwarded to the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration. They very politely told me that they decided they would not conduct an investigation; as they didn't feel it that there were any violations under the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Act as of February 23, 2011. Well my next idea is to talk to the people at Angie's List.

Been Working to Make Pin Money.

2011-01-31T09:04:00.020-06:00

Been working away at articles for my business blog which hopefully will be ready soon, I will make you aware when that is done.

I have been reflecting a lot on some of the things happening in my life of late. If I haven't given you a cautionary note about these things yet I will now.
1. If you are moving do not use Destination Van Lines, Inc. My thoughts are based on the service I did not receive when I moved with them in June of last year. Take a look at this if you want to see my report.
2. I have successfully been smoke free since last July.
3. I am working hard to put in some walking for health as many days in the week are possible.
4. Eating as healthy foods as possible although chocolate is far too alluring.
5. Making sure my kitties and dog have all the things they need for health.
6. Putting the trip to see my children together in the Spring.
I suppose some of that can be put under the heading of resolutions.

The other thing that is on my mind today is that I want write new blog entries more often.
Instead of twice a month at least once a week. So you may be able to catch my pearls of wisdom more often. Til I write my next post Dear Readers I will be sticking around here.

Just A Little Greeting!

2011-01-02T03:09:00.012-06:00

Hope you had a very Merry Christmas :)

I know I had a lovely one!

Hope you have a very Happy New Year!

Note: Please bare with me ....I am changing computers as this one constantly is rebooting and messing up generally speaking.

Older or Better?

2010-12-04T13:30:00.021-06:00

Remember those old Clairol commercials where they told the audience; "You're not getting older, you're getting

better"?

Well I am here to revise that quote. I am turning 63 on the 9th of December and older is fine with me. It just doesn't seem to be fine with the rest of the world. : ) My life aside from the children is very active. My children and grandkids are very important in my thoughts, heart, and life. In fact, aside from being a parent, I have had more fun in the last 12 years than I have had in the rest of my adult life. I truly belief that not only am I getting older but with each year I am learning to be happier and lead a more interesting interior life than ever before.

In this age of Botox and firming creams; the quote "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be" is lost. It just amazes me that in an era when Baby Boomers represent 30% of the population that youth is so highly exalted. What has happened to respecting those who had truths to pass down, respecting one's elders, and sitting at the feet of wisdom?

I think that life in the 21st century is amazing; however like any time in history, there are problems politically, economically, and socially. I think; however we could do with taking a few ideas from the old days. Things like the members of an extended family giving mutual help to each other. People having access to good inexpensive health and non-term life insurance to cover funeral costs. Good, well structured, food co-ops. Everyone given a proper opportunity to have a nice place of their own and a way of making an income enjoyably.

Oh, by the way, I am still an idealist of sorts. I probably am more of an pessimistic

optimist than a straight forward optimist. I want to believe that most people are good; but I know that there are a percentage of people, that are quite opposite to this. It is amazing that I have gotten to this age. I have known 'bad' people. Every day that I have lived amongst human kind, has rendered me less likely to be shocked by what they are capable of doing. But I still believe that human kind is capable of great good, nobility and kindness every day. All each of us need is a good, loving, and kind belief system and the determination to be as good or better than what we want others to be.

So, what have I learned? That my happiness does not depend on anyone else but can

only be enhanced by others. That I am a successful human being if I succeed in being the best child, mother, sister, aunt, grandma and partner I can be. Most of all, that I am not loved for what I do or can do; but who I am. I just try to do nice things for people because that makes my life feel better each day.

So Happy Birthday to me and thank God for my life! Perhaps I am exactly who I was meant to be today!

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-11-25T08:30:00.013-06:00

It seems as though each October and November that goes by that we have more and more to be thankful for in North America. I celebrate the american thanksgiving because I live here but remember my family in Canada at their thanksgiving.

Many of you will have endured trains, planes and automobiles, body scanners, pat downs and traffic by January the 2, 2011. Being put out all over the map is well worth it when you get to gather around the table for a lovely holiday meal with friends and family. This may be the only time you get to commune with these people this year. For some of you, this may be the last time you will ever see an individual. Be happy today, enjoy the company, bury all differences and rejoice in your similarities.

Just remember; whatever you have for your Thanksgiving meal, that the poorest in this country are far richer than so many other poverty stricken people in many countries of the world. Be thankful that your country is protected by armed forces who make sacrifices so you can be a member of a free country. These liberties are not often available in other parts of the world.

Enjoy the ability to go out on 'Black Friday' and buy this or that for the loved ones on your list. Be grateful you have the funds with which to buy them. Do your best to use manners and good common sense when you are out there shopping in the crowds. Be generous with your comments and deportment in the shops. Remember everyone else is just trying to find that special gift for their particular loved one or friend just like you.

Note: Melissa and Michael's Wedding was lovely according to everyone. We saw them on Thanksgiving and they seem very happy. God Bless them Both!

Our Friends Deserve Better!

2010-11-16T22:48:00.008-06:00

At one point in our lives a friend of mine and I used to go on shopping excursions in the city of Oklahoma. We always had a wonderful time whatever we did together. We were practically joined at the hip. Now I live in NY and she lives in a much colder state. She has a lot of health issues the least of which is not her osteo- arthritis. However, she has many other debilitating problems.

Why on earth in these United States of America aren't all the states united in pricing, civil rights, and the right to good health coverage? Which brings me back to my girlfriend. She can't get any dental coverage. In her state; if you don't have a credit card or plenty of cash you don't get treated. The disabled people and old folk have to fight like crazy to get proper medical help there. This is the case in many states.

The best thing that the present government could do is to find some cojones, take the most progressive ideas from those states that have good laws, combine, refine, define, and pass them as rules that each state must follow. If done properly everyone would have nice teeth, good health care, glasses, a decent place to live, and more than sufficient food. Why do the politicians in this country have to complicate everything so much and when they say they want to serve the people then why the hell don't they?

Well that is another two cents from yours truly. Please comment if you wish.

WE MUST REMEMBER VETS THAT DEFENDED US.

2010-11-10T06:48:00.004-06:00

LET US

REMEMBER

THOSE

WHO FELL

IN FIELDS

BATTLE FOR OUR FREEDOM

NOVEMBER 11, 2010.

MAY WE BE ALLIES WITH EQUALITY ALWAYS.

2010-11-10T06:39:00.001-06:00

LEST WE FORGET.

2010-11-10T04:51:00.020-06:00

Remembrance Day - November 10, 2010

May We Always Remember Those

Who Fell In Battle

To Preserve Our Freedom!

Although I live in the United States of America I am still a Canadian in my heart.

Days of Dylan and Bare Feet Gone?

2010-11-08T12:47:00.009-06:00

I remember a time in my life when I believed in total freedom, and people helping one another in all areas of life. I lived on a commune farm, wore bell-bottoms and madras tops. We created protest signs some of which I carried. All of us took part in growing our organic vegetables on the farm and milking our cow. I could consume large amounts of food and not gain weight. I spent long afternoons on city beaches, viewed Fritz the Cat at a movie festival, went to Mariposa Folk Festival, Woodstock and New Port Jazz Fest. I lived in the Village in the 60's and Spanish Harlem for more than year in the early 70's. I was a extraordinarily accomplished baker, a champion of substitution, and made the best brownies anywhere.

I still believe in freedom but on a more personal level. I don't try to change the world anymore; just a little corner of it. I do my best to buy good produce. I don't eat a lot of red meat but am not a vegetarian any longer. I wear jeans, a lot of leopard print, and bright cat t-shirts. I still love Dylan, Melanie, the Beatles, folk music, psychedelic rock, music festivals, and warm city beaches. I don't bake brownies anymore nor do I go to Harlem or the Village.

Every decade in my life has taught me a little about myself and the world around me. For instance; I can't smoke anymore, I don't like large crowds at all, anything I eat goes right on my hips, my tolerance for pungent smells is low, I can't stand on these old pins for a very long time nor can I walk a long way. But I still walk bare foot whenever possible, enjoy chick peas in all kinds of salads and soups, and love bright prints and colors.

So the Days of Dylan and bare feet are not gone just revised. Oh by the way I still love Fritz. He is one of my guilty pleasures.

Voting's done.

2010-11-04T00:02:00.016-05:00

The Republicans have the House of Representatives, the Democrats have the Senate and the Presidency and the country has a great many problems. Other than that everything is right with the world. That said, I want to talk not about politics but relationships.

Relationships definitely present a slippery slope quite often these days. Trying to get the day to day routine to somehow turn into a great romantic evening is sometimes near impossible. When I was 30 I didn't believe that romance would be part of my life after 50. I sure did not know anything about seniors and relationships. It is just as real and as intense as it has always been; just a little more work in some ways. In fact I am beginning to realize that I will be 6 ft under, so to speak, before my sexuality doesn't mean anything.

Interpersonal relationships with my children, girl friends, and male friends have become more and more interesting every day. I should really be happy to see all my friends in person every day. The tech age helps us sustain friendships over miles and chat as though they are in the same room. Guess that will have to do.

I even have something called memory that enables me to have an ability to keeps those I have loved; that have passed on, to still be part of the present to an extent.

My animals provide a sounding board that never talks back and is always there with a sympathetic ear and a small shoulder to cry on. They seem to hang on my every word and seem to want to help me find a solution to all problems.

The tech age is wonderful to keep in touch with those that are sick or infirmed. A good medium to find out solutions for health problems. A place to answer a question or two wrought by

curiosity. A place to order those special items we need to order for others and ourselves. Which brings me to the real 'relationship' that I have with my computer. Ain't life in the 21st century incredible?

Just one thing....wonder if the journal industry knows if they know why they aren't selling so well? :)

Note: I hope that Melissa's and Mike's wedding turns out as beautiful as it promises to be on Sunday.

Big Brother Sneaking a Peek?

2010-10-14T08:48:00.018-05:00

I think that Big Brother is watching us with all of his many eyes. He also seems to have many hands; rather like an Asian deity. Big has been telling us what to think politically, socially, economically, and has even monitored our sexuality to an extent. Been doing it for over the last century. My parents and their people saw it happen during their lives. According to my Mom; Big Brother watched us very furtively in the 40's and 50's. However if she were still with us, I believe she would agree with me that the past 20 years have been even worse. The difference between today and then is this; people are afraid of getting involved personally where as at least from the 40's to the 60's a great many people tried to involve themselves in different causes and other peoples lives. I sight such things as Greenpeace, Antiwar Marches, Veterans Day, Draft- Card Burning, Harbor Day, Peace Marches, and Civil Rights Marches.

Honesty and integrity are at a premium in this tired old world. People are so much more suspicious of each other than they were when I was little. We don't know our neighbors or work together as well as we did in the 50's. I am not saying that criminals were not around, that there were not robbers or murderers. or that children were not bullied. It just seemed that there were more pockets of safety in society when I was younger. I noticed a great change around my 13th year. Perhaps my parents were doing their job better than some. Until I got a taste of the world beyond my family circle I didn't realize just how scary the world was even back then. And at the risk of sounding paranoid it certainly is frightening now.

Okay what does all this got to do with Big Brother? Well our anonymity with the government and in society in general works against us. Crime is committed on several levels these days. We not only need to be wary of criminals but the "law keepers and makers". We have complicated our legal world so much that it often works against us. The use of computers and all the other technology we have invented has us far more open to scrutiny with too many strangers.

No one in this world should be seen as more valuable or better than another person. However it seems that the disabled, the poor and the meek are often condemned in the legal systems of the western world more often than not. Their voices are simply not heard above the din. We can not guard our personal statistics, have a bit of privacy, or socially mind and have others mind their own business. Thank the powers that be or perhaps not for such things as Life-Loc, ADT, Protection One and Lifeline. But when you really think about it, these are but band-aids on the privacy and security problems many of us are having.

Our governments and the banking world have reduced our identities to a bunch of numbers. Not many people call us by name; when we are going about on our errands in the community. Big Brother is deftly watching and conducting our lives. A time machine would be a ludicrous panacea for our problems. What we need to do is be more open to helping each other. We need to help the people who have nothing and tax the ones that have more than they need. Our countries need to help the people in their own back yards; as well as helping those in the rest of the Global Village. The time for band-aids is over. Lets do an 'operation' now before the emergency is full of potential appendectomies!

Sagamore Hill Day Trip

2010-09-26T05:36:00.058-05:00

My Honey and I went to Sagamore Hill National Historic Site on Oyster Bay this past week. It was amazing! Teddy Roosevelt built a wonderful home for his family in 1885 on Cove Neck Road. He enjoyed time with his family right up until his death in 1919. The estate had lots of land for horseback riding. There are 23 rooms and it provided ample room for all six of the Roosevelt children. Books are every where just as they were when the family lived in the home. You can find out more about this wonderful place here.

I just want to make a few personal observations about my experience. The gentleman at the tourist center was very helpful. Our guide for the tour was a very sprightly woman, who must have been over 50; but I believe she may have been in her 70's. At any rate she was very athletic for someone her age. She showed us all three floors of the home with tremendous ability. She delivered her facts and anecdotes with aplomb. While we were at the park we also visited "The Teddy Roosevelt Museum in the Old Orchard House. The thing that interested me the most was the exhibit case housing Teddy's Rough Rider Uniform with the famous original hat with it's pinned up brim. The other things that I found fascinating were his service revolver, his sword, Teddy's published works and 1900 McKinley-Roosevelt Campaign buttons.

We went went into the town of Oyster Bay and enjoyed a late lunch at Tabby's Burger House. Just a little warning for those who go there...unless you are absolutely starving get the quarter pounder. My Greek salad, half pounder with cheese, mushrooms, and fried onions, and french fries was delicious. I had the first chocolate egg creme I have had in over 40 years. It was absolutely scrumptious. Needless to say I got a "doggie bag"

To say that we both enjoyed the day is an understatement.

Note: Where did the Teddy Bear get it's name? The beloved toy we've come to know today as the "Teddy Bear" was named after the 26th President of the United States, Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt.

According to one legend, Roosevelt was settling a border dispute between Louisiana and Mississippi in 1902. During this trip, he attended a bear hunt in Mississippi where a fellow hunter captured an injured bear, tied it to a tree and asked Roosevelt to shoot it. But Roosevelt didn't have the heart to kill the defenseless bear. The Washington Post ran an editorial cartoon created by the cartoonist Clifford K. Berryman that illustrated the event called "Drawing the Line." The cartoon and the story became popular and was published in newspapers all over the country.

Store owners Morris and Rose Michtom in New York saw the cartoon. Rose made some small stuffed bears to sell in their store. Morris wrote to Roosevelt requesting his permission to call the bears "Teddy Bears". President Roosevelt granted them the usage of his nickname, but added that he did not think using his name would help sell the bears. The bears proved to be a hit and the rest is history.

Yesterday ...

2010-09-16T23:50:00.021-05:00

Yesterday was a lovely day here in Long Island, NY. We woke up around 10am and leisurely got ready for an outing together. We planned to dine out around 2 pm down the street at our neighborhood pizza place. Ours is called Franks and this gentleman makes the best New York style pizza in the state. The pastas and salads are equally awesome. (yay Frank!) My gentleman friend and I enjoyed a slow and enjoyable dinner then strolled home. Later that day after working on our respective computers we watched the last Big Brother of the season. He calls it one of our ''guilty pleasures"; although strangely enough I don't feel the first part of the phrase at all.

All of this brings me to the point of my post...that each day brings such a variety of events that I have begun to wonder how people can possibly be bored with life no matter what their age. I mean if someone like me with limited physical ability can find things to enjoy how on earth can people with all their abilities at hand be bored. Despite all the things the media can find "wrong" with the world, there are a bounty of wonderful things that are right, good and amazing with our world and in our lives!

I honestly feel grateful for my two wonderful daughters, my son, three lovely granddaughters, my nieces and nephews, my sisters, and all their respective spouses. The only regret I have is that I am not as emotionally close to some of them as I wish. I love, enjoy, and am blessed with an abundance of friends online and in person. On another level I am also very grateful for my 2 lovely cats, and my dog. Their day to day follies are a constant delight to both of us. I

enjoy my music, reading, writing, walking, crafts, cooking, and collecting as well.

My greatest wish is that everyone that I know and love are happy and have as few moments of boredom as possible!

Notice: This Blog is going to adapt the larger font as it is hard for author to see otherwise. Perhaps more people will read it now. :)

Surfing the World Wide Web.

2010-09-04T04:12:00.020-05:00

When I was young I thought it would be grand to live in California and surf my heart out. Now I virtually surf and I can tell you it is a time consuming thing. However I have found several traffic exchange sites that help a surfer like me to go straight to a number of their favorite sites at one time. I truly enjoy the whole surfing experience. The fact that I want to drive the traffic to my sites almost seems beside the point.

I have learned a lot of things in the past month just by surfing the WWW. I have been a long time fan of Bob Dylan and just realized he had a son Jakob in the music business who rivals his father's efforts when he was a younger man.

I have discovered that a non-gluten diet may just diminish my joint pains and the numbness in my left hand. It would be very nice not to have so much pain and not to have to take so much naproxen sodium.

I have learned a lot of other things as well about doggie dermatology, how to run ads for free, where the least expensive flea meds for pets can be purchased, how to prepare appetizing polenta and so much more.

It seems as though my learning curve has gotten higher since I have been on the WWW.

I have had access to it in one form or another since the 1980's. I have been on the internet since 1969. I never got into internet marketing until the early 90's. Most of my time on computers until then was in chat rooms and surfing for information to quench my curiosity.

I have come across an interesting site put together by 60 year old gentleman living in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He says in his submission that many will say he is old but like him I wonder how come such a young at heart soul can be so old. Evidently, he loves music; classical music and you can see almost 11,00 scores at Hemmingway's Studio . Good for you Hemmingway! He has tuxedo cat too that he seems to hold in great regard. Hope that Or

eo and you are both well!

Long Ago and......

2010-08-28T17:36:00.023-05:00

I just finished watching 'Milk' all the way through and understand now on a more visceral level the absolute importance of Harvey's agenda and work. I don't think that the fight is over yet; indeed the fight is still on for all disenfranchised people; homosexuals, women and children being the main groups. What hit me the most about Harvey's death; is the fact that someone like Dan White would not be remembered in life outside of the movie or book as much as Harvey was in death. That my friends is how it should be! The good guys should be remembered first and foremost. If just one person remembers someone who has helped the hopeless; then no activism of any kind is pointless.

Which brings me to the point of this posting. After I watched 'Milk' my mind traveled back to my nephew Andrew and all the things he was and what he might have been had he lived. Suffice to say, Andy had the great spirit of an activist given half a chance! I spent the 60's pursuing some cause or other. Never felt as though I was very successful though. It is hard being part of a whole, large, group when you are young and have dreams of being a ground-breaker. Of course, the other side of the coin is that it was wonderful having some small part in that sign carrying era. But that was long ago and far away.

If I could still walk for miles, stand with my arms above my head for prolonged periods of time, or shout over and over for hours; I would still probably be trying to protest something or another. Then I realized I have a quieter, low-key way of carrying a placard. I will continue to use this space as my placard. I shall continue to do that post after post.

Mini-post: Saw Ralph Sunday!!

2010-08-01T15:15:00.010-05:00

Sunday, I watched Ralph Nader on a 3 hour C-span special. He was just as amazing as I thought he was all those years ago when he was an activist for seat belts.

After that I watched Laura Ingraham author of the 'Obama Diaries' run on about her beliefs and how good Americans knew that being a believer in conservative right wing values were the way. She minimizes anything and everything that President Obama has tried to do with what he has unfortunately inherited from the former Republican government. To my mind, true patriotism lies in the different legislature that one backs that makes life easier for the disenfranchised and the poorer people; not just Americas' privileged class. It does not lie in false sentimentality or flag waving. It lies in the full knowledge of what being a citizen of this country and ones true obligations.

I believe in God, Country, and a being happy. I know that sounds simplistic; but for me it is that simply put and that complex in real life. I believe in a Higher Power who is personal. I believe that a country and all its benefits are here for all its citizens. When just a chosen few get the privileges then the country isn't being governed correctly at all. That is just this woman's opinion.

Hubbard's Cupboard!

2010-07-31T12:45:00.009-05:00

If you read my blog on a regular or even semi regular basis; you know that I have just moved from Oklahoma to New York. The food prices here are overpowering. If Mother Hubbard lived here the CSI would be along for her and the doggie tout suite! Where I used to spend $100 for a month's food, I am now paying $200 plus! Now I ask you why is food so expensive here in New York???? Is it to pay for the freight from the 'mainland' to 'Long Island'? Or are we paying for Bloomberg's limos? Is it because the truckers got a raise here I don't know about???? I know that NY tax does not cover the whole escalation of prices so that isn't the reason.

Don't get me wrong. I love New York; particularly Nassau County. But my Oklahoma gauged Widow's Pension just doesn't go very far here. My dreams of seeing a couple of shows on Broadway on my dime are fading fast, never mind my trip to Ireland. I don't know about you but I don't like going on another person's dime all the time. I just want to be able to afford to do my own thing. Bottom line, if the food here was more affordable or I got a proper cost of living rise then I would be able to enjoy this wonderful county a lot more!

Finacial Wizard I Am Not!

2010-07-27T12:41:00.019-05:00

I often wonder what it is about banks nowadays. Why do I generally detest them?

They are not like the ones I knew way back in my childhood. The clerks and the bank manager; all of them knew you by your first name. All you had to do is pick up the phone; if there was an overdraft, they would wait until your pay check was deposited and you were covered. If they charged you a fee it wasn't over a couple of dollars. Generally speaking you were not charged.

Banks were in the business of making money but they showed real respect towards their customers and would do everything they could to help them out. I was told by my Mother that in the late 20's and early 30's when peoples farms were being foreclosed it was different in Unionville. Our bank manager in town bent over backwards so that his customers could stay in their homes. Because of him not one of our local farmers had to sell and move away.

I had a bank account at that bank from age 6 to 13 and at another branch of the Bank of Nova Scotia in Toronto right until I was in my 20's. Trouble didn't start with the banking system till after my 50th birthday. It started after my husband died in 2001.

I have always had my own money and my own account whether I was single, married, divorced or widowed. Well, if it hadn't been for some really good friends in the last 9 years; because of overdraft fees here with the state side banks I might not have made it financially. Now it isn't because I over spent. It was because of the way banks operate nowadays. For example: They know you get a check in by say the 30th of the month. They also know that you need to eat the day before and instead of waiting until the day you get paid they charge you an overdraft of thirty dollars on 5 or 10 cents over the limit. That is the sort of thing that has caught me up for the last 9 years. It is absolutely ridiculous! I reckon that I have lost well over $10,000 in those 9 years to that bank in Oklahoma.

My point is these people don't know you well or try to get you to know you well. The clerks are over burdened with duties and people are very strained in business relationships these days. Neither do I live in Unionville anymore. I live on Long Island, New York but I have to tell you; the manager at my local branch seems to be the kind of fella we had at the Bank of Nova Scotia when I was a child. Perhaps this bank will treat my money like mine not theirs.

Note: Found out what is wrong with my legs. I have chronic osteoarthritis. It can't be cured but the pain can be managed and I am not giving up or in on this.

Emergency Trip ASAP And Other Observations.

2010-07-09T17:49:00.012-05:00

Hi Folks! I am going to go to the hospital emergency as soon as possible. My leg truly needs looking at and it hurts worse everyday.

Other than that life is wonderful on Long Island. My three animals have adapted well to their new life with our friend Dennis. We all love our new apartment. We have a bounty of technology as well as the simple things that make life enjoyable. I have had quite a bit of time to get used to the area we are in and I am absolutely in love with my neighborhood. There are friendly business people as well as friendly neighbors. It is everything and more than I hoped for when I was packing in OK! I hope that everyone moving this summer is this fortunate in finding a place to live.

As has been of late; this posting will be short and sweet. Until next time ... have a good day and God bless you all.

Here At Last And Almost Settled!

2010-06-15T14:29:00.008-05:00

Well I finally got here. It is a wonder but I am getting settled and happier by the minute. Have had way too many moving company problems! If you want to have a happy trip to your final destination then don't use Final Destination Movers. I have to file a complaint with them. To many articles broken and two not even delivered. Enough said.

My new neighborhood reminds me of Connecticut or Rosedale area in Toronto, Ontario. It is idylic! Our new apartment is lovely. Lots of things to be hung or set up yet; but that is okay, all that will come in time.

I am writing this on a friend's computer as mine still has to be connected to the internet. See you when that is done with the next post.

We need to find a HOME Again!

2010-05-28T00:12:00.010-05:00

Thanks to a new friend in NY my fur babies will have a place to lay their little heads for awhile. The new place in NY unfortunately turned out to be nothing but a con by a fake project manager of a nonexistent company. So we have to find a new place by the end of June. However I am still on my way to New York tomorrow.

We need to rent a one bedroom apartment, on Long Island in northerly section of North Massapequa, or Bethpage or Northwest Farmingale near Boundary Avenue give or take 7 to 10 blocks in either a north or south direction or in Plainedge near Wyoming Ave please tell me in comments or use help@ruthshultz.com email. We have two very well behaved Tabby cats and an equally well behaved 6 lb Pomeranian. They are part of the family and we can't adopt them out. Surely you can offer a place for us. Children and teens, God Bless them; often make a great deal more mess and can not be discriminated against...why should are furry friends go without us or a home?

We also need a covered space in which to keep and charge an electric bike.

Very Excited

2010-05-25T00:47:00.008-05:00

Got a new home, in a new state, with new people and new things to experience! Believe me folks no one is too old to relish that! Will be set up and with you next week....Till then just have a...

I will soon be a real old homebody again!

Terrific News

2010-05-14T22:05:00.008-05:00

Got some really terrific news today. First I am going to be able to move out of this house before the end of the month. I heard from the friend that lives in another of the eastern states and although not well they are alive and kicking. A friend of mine is coming to help me pack for 4 or 5 days next week; which considering my bum leg, will be a God send. So pretty soon I can put the imaginary traveling music on and enjoy my new home!

What amazes me the most; even though I am going to love getting to Long Island, I find that I miss friends in Oklahoma City a lot already. It seems this way often when we move, at least this has been my experience. This will be my last post before moving. My next post will be from Long Island. I hope that all of you will check my blog in mid June for that.

www.whisperandguapo.com

Legs Can't Take It!

2010-05-10T13:35:00.020-05:00

Folks, I am not a happy camper of late! I have been working like a beaver with it's tail on fire getting my things packed. I had to go downtown on business on Friday. I went to my destination on the OKC Metro Transit System ....that's bus to all of us that don't like fancy labels. I finished my business and went to the right bus stop to wait so I could travel home. I waited for over and an hour and a half, got frustrated and decided to walk home. Luckily when I go out on my own like that, I take a cane just for support. Well I bet you can guess what happened already folks. Two miles is much to great a distance for someone with game legs older than 50. You guessed it, I can barely walk now without my right leg hurting with every step. I am so upset with myself and the useless bus service in this town. I may just take myself to the Sawbones to see if anything can be done to alleviate the problem. Needless to say with only 21 days to get packed and gone out of my house, I am in a slight panic.

Which brings me to another query. Why are your friends all around you when they can acquire something from you but not there when you need some help??? Mind you, a lot of my friends have jobs, school, families, and disabilities so I can see why they cannot help me. But I have those that call themselves friend; that are footloose literally and figuratively that could help. They all know I am moving but none of them have called to offer their help. I don't know about you but I have the idea that the world was a much more agreeable place when I was a child. All I can say is pray for me folks and hope that I get through the next 21 days unscathed.

PS: If anyone out there needs a couple to rent an apartment, studio, or loft in a private home on Long Island in northerly section of North Massapequa, or Bethpage or Northwest Farmingale near Boundary Avenue give or take 7 to 10 blocks in either a north or south direction or in Plainedge near Wyoming Ave please tell me in comments or use help@ruthshultz.com email. We have two very well behaved Tabby cats and an equally well behaved 6 lb Pomeranian. They are part of the family and we can't adopt them out.

Moving - Short Rant

2010-04-18T14:19:00.012-05:00

So far it has been a very busy month for me. It seems the more I do the more there is to do. I can't seem to get my bearings at all lately. I have been trying to figure out whether I want to use U-haul or a Mover; as my friend that was going to drive for me seems to have gotten quite sick. I have been thinking of getting a Pack Rat container to move to their storage lot for the things I don't need immediately. While all this is going around and around in my head I am praying the house gets sold and we get what we want and desire in New York.

So I guess what I need from you folks are your prayers and best wishes. However, if you live in the area I do, I sure could use a few bodies to get this mess in order and ready! I need a few competent friends to repack and pack before moving day. Then I need some really fit fellas to load the truck. I would not expect the 'movers' to do it for nothing but you and I need to know each other. I also need someone to help me organize a yard sale half way through next month. Knowing that things working just as I would like is probably quite possible; but not very probable I will just 'inch' on by myself and pray a lot.

www.whisperandguapo.com

Now those kitties have the right idea! Full of idealism and heart and short on on luggage!

Easter And The Move Ahead

2010-04-07T06:57:00.011-05:00

Well here it is the 7th of April. I had a lovely Easter at my friend's home. She put on a large, delicious spread. I am very fond of ham and all the fixings. Her daughter made a castle shaped spice cake for dinner with cream cheese icing. There is nothing like the combination of good friends and good food.

We have had a combination of thunderstorms or the sun shining brightly for the last couple of weeks. In both cases the temperature has been quite warm; 60 or warmer. We were able to turn off our furnaces down here, at the end of March. As a matter of fact; I have had my stand up fan on for several days. Surrounding the house there are dozens of clumps of hyacinths, a sprinkling of tulips, a clump or two of Irises, and a few daffodils. They were a nice surprise.

Another lovely result of this weather; is the fact that I don't have to wear a jacket anymore. I am still in the midst of packing. I just hope that most of it is done by the end of this month. This whole business of moving is harrowing to say the least; but I have every confidence it will work out well. I am looking forward to setting up house in New York and visiting my daughter and grand kids in Ontario, Canada.

I have to get all three fur babies their shots; ready for the trip. I hope that they weather the move well. Dylan, my Pomeranian needs a grooming before leaving too. Haven't quite completely made up my mind just how we are going to make the move; but that will come by the end of the month too.

When I think of all the changes going on in my life, I must remember that life flourishes on change. We have to be aware that it is all of our experiences that make life interesting and worth living. I know something else for sure; anytime there has been a change in my life, it has always been for the best in the end. So folks keep me in your prayers for this and next month. I need all the support I can muster. Thanks to Tom, my late husband; I not only believe in dreaming my dreams, I believe in living my dreams!

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2010-03-13T20:17:00.004-06:00

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A Potpourri Of Spring Like Thoughts!

2010-03-10T11:41:00.029-06:00

March the 20th is the first day of spring this year. I live in Oklahoma and the seasons are not really defined as well as they are back east. Next year I will see the seasons change with more distinction. The reason for this is I shall have moved back east, closer to my native Canada, to New York State.

When I was a child I loved seeing the crocuses and hyacinths peeking out bravely from the brown earth in my Mother's garden. They marked a new beginning; when the air seemed a little crisper and fresher. My Mom always made salads with a variety vegetables in them and said good bye to iceberg lettuce until the fall. The wild violets would turn up on our lawn in a mass of purple hues. Yes spring is definitely my favourite season.

Easter is coming next month and Lent has been going for 21 days now. I really had hoped I could give up tabacco this year; but unfortunately I am still smoking. I know that NY is almost a 'non-smoking' state and it would benefit me to stop; but I have been smoking for over 50 years. It is definitely a hard habit to break. I may just have to because none of the nice rentals allow it.

I also know it is spring because of Teddy. He is my orange and white Tuxedo Tabby. I think spring has given him some zip to his step. He has been sprinting around the house like a cat on fire. Dylan, my Pomeranian is absolutely silly these days. Morin my orange Tabby; well he is just as docile as ever. After all he is in his autumn years so he sleeps a lot.

Of course I am in an absolute panic because I need to have my home packed up and ready to go by the middle of May. I know that I have much more to pack than what I came with in 1998. I have things of my daughters', my best friends', and all my new stuff. I also have a lot of my late husbands things to go through and either pack, dispose of or sell. Well I am involved doing all this I must keep up with my every day life as well. I have an online business to run and work to do on the computer. I also have outside interests that need attending. Each day that goes by I hope that I get more sleep that night; but I am averaging only about 4 to 5 hours a night which isn't enough. (Any one out there in virtual land have an idea on the sleep issue?) All I can do is try to get more tonight. As a lot of friends say to me; "This too shall pass". I swear when my friend; who is driving the moving van, and I get to NY I will kiss the ground as soon as I get there. For me unpacking isn't half as earth shattering as packing up things.

When I get frustrated I simply tell myself that I've survived for the first 63 years. I shall survive the next 30 or so. If I am lucky it may be 40 more wonderful lucid years. After all Mom survived for 103 years. She just might have passed on the gene. At any rate I am still not ready to play a harp yet.

Come March, No Matter What, Me And All That Is Mine Are Rolling!

Note: I may not to be able to post anything untill June but I shall try.

On Valentines and Memories

2010-02-20T08:37:00.016-06:00

HOPE YOU HAD A HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Well Valentine's Day has come and gone. I have been thinking about Valentine's past and one in particular came to mind. My very first one here in Oklahoma City with Tom my husband in 1999. It had snowed the day before and it was very slippery on the roads when the 14th arrived. Tom had wanted to make a afternoon and night of it. Go and do some shopping; then take me out to dinner. I told him it was fool hardy to go out in the bad weather; so we checked the freezer, took out a couple of steaks, and had a lovely dinner at home. We spent the evening watching 'Kiss The Girls' with Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd. I am a huge Morgan Freeman fan; so that is why I remember the title.

Well after the movie we were sitting on the couch talking about the film; then we drifted into a discussion on relationships. Tom and I concluded that our relationship was the only time in our lives that we were both in love and not in love with the idea of a relationship. It was probably the first time in our lives that either of us were fully committed. Most of all both of us were absolutely amazed that all this came to us in our 50's.

I should tell you why I am writing about this little slice of my life. Since then, I have come to a conclusion. I would not change a day of my life. Yes I had three marriages, plagued with conflict; but I have three beautiful children to show for them, whom I love dearly. Yes the man that I fell in love with in mid-life, passed away from cancer in 2001. But at least I experienced three rapturous years of bliss with him. He loved me enough that he told me not to stay alone after he had gone; but implored me to choose wisely.

I have found out that life begins anew with each day that comes. Experience is merely the unfolding of those days. Mind you one has to be a participant and not just an observer in their lives. I have a few suggestions for the young, not that they will necessarily be taken. Although, I would rather see someone use my hard earned understanding in their 20's or 30's rather than later in life. Focus in on what you want in your life, find a true and authentic belief system, and act on things only after you meditate or pray or whatever way you talk to your God.

Like all musings; this one too, is highly subjective, simple, and reflective. What is going to happen next? I don't know for sure; but whatever it is will be infinitely more sane than the kinds of relationships that I had in my first 30 years.

My Holidays And Other Comments

2010-01-17T12:09:00.012-06:00

Never too Late to wish a Happy New Year like this green eyed beauty is doing.

Every year at this time I am overcome with the need to improve and every year I fall short. However it is my philosophy that I must just keep trying my best to be at my best one day at a time. I think for the most part I meet that criteria.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Holiday Season! Was invited to friends for every occasion including Christmas Eve Day! Wonderful food, cordial company, and I was 'ferried' there and back on all those occasions as well as extra dinners and parties.

Having said that it amazes me how fast these holidays seem to fly by since I turned over 50 which has been a year or two passed. It starts me wondering why the time continuum seems to change so much over the years. When we are young it seems it takes forever for Christmas to come and a blink of an eye for all of the celebrating to end. It was the same with Easter Day when I was little. As I grew into my preteen and teen years things went by at the pace of a snail. And as I went through my child rearing years I never seemed to have enough time to do anything. Which brings me to the present when everything that is pleasant seems to go much too fast and unpleasant situations appear to drag along. One thing I must remember is that time itself is a man made concept and perhaps therein lies the flaw. Man made it and man observes it . Perhaps our perceptions get gummed up with experience. Anyway as a friend of mine often says...."That's my story and I am sticking to it!"

Happy New Years To all of my friends out there!
I hope that all of you will have a Blessed and Prosperous 2010.

Seasons Greetings and Comments!

2009-12-29T01:21:00.010-06:00

I hope that all of you had a very Merry Christmas. I enjoyed a lovely Christmas dinner on both the 24th and the 25th. It is so nice to have good friends that care about me!

My furry kids had a bit of Christmas cheer also because they got some left overs from a Christmas Party I attended on the 19th.

I was sort of sad at the beginning of the season because my Mother passed away last spring and I could not phone her this year to wish her a Merry Christmas.

I have a plan for New Years Eve; I am going to stay home and watch movies and around 12 pm perhaps I shall watch the celebrations in Time Square on the television. I think I will stay home on New Years Day as well.

We have quite a lot of snow here in Oklahoma and the temperature is quite chilly. But I was fortunate to get a lovely hooded winter coat so I can get out a bit.

I am not enamored of the postal service this year as my daughter in Ontario has not received her parcel yet. She was supposed to get it between the 6th and 10th of December. I guess I shall have to track it down. I hope I can find the slip. Well if worst comes to worst I shall just send another one after the New Years with my apologies to the grandchildren.

Anyway that is about all I have this time around. I shall post something for New Years very soon.

Join Me at i5

2009-12-03T13:27:00.000-06:00

Join Me at i5

Interesting Site

2009-11-18T12:16:00.008-06:00

I found this site while perusing my email and I do not mean any disrespect to anyone who is from another country. I find this a very poignant point and I really do; like Andrew, like the song. Go here and look at the video that can be found in his blog of November 5, 2009.

The other thing I want to talk about today is the fact that I have been very busy trying to work at my business site. Hope that you take the time to take a good look at it. I am trying to make some extra income so that I can do some of things I want to from now until the spring. My mentor in this program is a very honest, nice gentleman. It has taken me a long time to find something that is above board and takes a little work on my part to earn an income from it.

Since 1998 I have been involved in far to many businesses that only paid the founding members, even when they have said that everyone made SO Much Money. I really wanted to get away from those sorts of sites. I wanted to belong to a business that truly was geared to earning money and not a get rich quick scheme or one that only helped those at the top to get rich.

It is a relief to find out that there are quite a few sights on the net whose owners or founders are square shooters.

Hope that all of you have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Sorry friends.....

2009-10-06T05:16:00.005-05:00

I am sorry my friends that I haven't been doing much personal blogging of late; but I have been busy trying to put together a new business. I am looking forward to being able to spend more time on here in future once I get every thing up and running on my domain.

If I did not own my home the widows benefit I get would definitely not cover expenses. It doesn't go very far even under my circumstances. But I do just manage. Thus the idea of seriously working in an online business has become a challenging reality. By the way - I love a challenge!

I think you are aware of the fact that I have some lovely furry kids. To keep up with what is happening with them and to see pictures of the three little creatures go to my web site at http://torriekit.tripod.com/ . The little Pomeranian chap to whom I gave a home and my 2 cats get along quite well.

There are just two other bits of news from my corner of the world. My dearest friend in the world has unfortunately had a recurrence of cancer. I would appreciate you pray for her. The other piece of news is not quite so sad. A dear friend from childhood found me on facebook and we are renewing our friendship.

Well that is about all that is going on in Oklahoma today. Hope to post again really soon.

Talking About Windows

2009-08-22T13:36:00.007-05:00

It has been my experience in life that every time a door closes a window opens for me almost within the month. Here are three good examples of this from my own life.

It hasn't been more than a month since my little exotic died and within a week of her death; Dylan picked me to be his companion. It is amazing how well this little Pomeranian gets along with my two remaining male cats. It is so much fun to watch the three animals interact. They run about the house 'buzz bombing each other, playing tag, or playing with the different toys they share. The three even sleep cuddled together on the couch.

A friend of mine and I had a disagreement last spring and although I was not opposed to making up; they did not seem to want to move on. We found ourselves at function totally unaware that the other had been invited. The host introduced us as being people that just might have a conversation in common. The situation was so ludicrous that we both burst out laughing and we have been fine ever since.

Right at the moment I survive on a limited income. I don't have any health insurance and a large bill had been sent to my address for emergency treatment I had received at a local hospital. A few days after I got the bill I phoned the hospital billing office to see if I could pay it a bit at a time. The staff person at the other end told me I was eligible for funds that would help me pay the bill. I am very grateful for that window; believe me.

I suppose what I am saying is this; that in the world in which I live; there are solutions. Sometimes they come as straight unaided blessings and sometimes they need a little nudge. But I find if I just remain optimistic and ask the God of my understanding for the answers; they always come in time.

Another Loss

2009-07-20T14:19:00.001-05:00

Victoria or Torriekit as she was often called was a sweet spirited Exotic or Calico. She was fine and in good health until the middle of June when she started looking ill. I took her to the vet on the 16th and they said she had pancreatic cancer. She perked up a little for a couple of weeks then she began to fail. I just couldn't let her suffering continue so I took her to the vet in early July of 2009 Our understanding, kind, Dr Houston took care of her. She is now Over the Rainbow Bridge with Jake and Panda.

I Got Issues!

2009-05-17T23:36:00.012-05:00

I have three issues that are bothering me a great a deal of late so I decided to share with you folks. First issue: Are emails sometimes the bane of your existence? Do you get multiple copies of the same less than valuable offers? Or someone sending the same offer more than 2 times in a week? Second issue: Have any of you ever had the misfortune of someone not being honest enough to refund what is due you? Third issue: Who are the ones that decide your article 'worth'?

First issue: I went to my inbox today and found over 3000 emails. Over a half of them were duplicated mailings. When I got those pared down I found that a lot of the offers were just absolute crap! I have made it known on any emails I send that I want them to know that they should tell me if I send duplicates and for them to give me the same courtesy.

Second issue: You see to me an offer can be valuable even if you spend $7 on it . It may be worthwhile at $47. But if I find it is just a rerun of the same old tired stuff that is when I want a refund or when I haven't ordered it in the first place but have it foisted upon me. I tried to write this one marketer about the refund honestly owed to me. I have replied to 4 of his emails over the past 11 days along with a ticket at his help desk to no avail. I mean he hasn't even had the courtesy to write me.

Third issue: Just who is it that is phenomenally 'great' enough to judge if a person's content is good enough? How do you get in the article elite? And when do you do does it do you any good? Are the reviews that important? I don't have any answers for these questions but if you have something to say please write your comment or answer here.

On Death and Organization.

2009-05-07T23:02:00.021-05:00

Sorry for not posting anything for a few weeks folks. Going through some personal and business problems but I am working through them.
I am going through that very hard transition from Blogger to Business Site. Trying to not only look professional but run my little business a bit more professionally.

A young friend of mine; who is half my age, is going through a terrible struggle with cancer. That is always a sad thing to watch. Another friend of mine just died at the end of April at 82 years young.

All this has given me the ambition to write a will, get insurance to cover costs when I pass away, and instructions for my memoriam as I have opted for cremation.

I have decided to have a lot of my favorite secular tunes as well as couple of hymns played or sung. I want my memoriam to celebrate my life not morbidly define my death. I want people to remember me with fondness and to share anecdotes about me. I want them to serve my favorite chocolate cake recipe and coffee at my 'wake'.
I would appreciate them remembering me for my flubs as well as my good points.

And that; my friends, is my offering for today!

Sad News

2009-04-21T14:00:00.010-05:00

Friends I have some very sad news.

Panda; my tuxedo Manx, was sick with a liver problem for most of last week. She suffered from fatty acids in her liver. Evidently this is something that happens to Manx cats. The 'cure' has cost me but my precious baby was worth ever penny. On Friday she got back the pink in her ears and on her gums. But on Monday I had to take her again to visit the vet as she had spiraled down badly. Now its Tuesday and she was very listless this morning. My groomer friend and I took her back to the Vet. This friend of mine had to quit full time grooming and vet technician after 30 years because she broke her back. She had pilled Panda for me and helped me to follow Doctors orders. She had already had 3 SubQ's (under the skin watering so to speak) and she got better ...like pink gums, skin and ears but then she g0t that yellow tinge again. We tried our best to initiate her getting better.

When I took Panda to the vet today. They are sure she had full blown liver cancer; as she literally crashed late yesterday. When we got her to the vet this morning she really needed to be put to sleep. I am broken hearted right now but know that it was the best thing to do for Panda. She didn't warrant pain and suffering. So now she is over the 'Rainbow Bridge'.

Alleluia! I found my girls!

2009-03-05T14:08:00.011-06:00

I feel so fortunate to have found my girls finally. My daughter has had some health issues. She has been in hospital a couple of times since I last heard from them before Christmas 2007. Liz, her two girls, a new baby girl, and her significant other are all well and living in Canada. The reason she didn't get in touch with me for all this time is because she had lost my telephone number in the move. I just got off the a long phone call with her. We both were very happy to hear each other's voice! Liz is beleaguered with pain and has to go to physical therapy. But she truly is a brick! She complains very little and doesn't let things get her down. I am very proud of my daughter for that.

We have a lot of catching up to do and we shall do it every week on the phone. So dear friends...I find that God definitely is in his heaven, he does answer prayers, and everything is right in my world once again.

Sometimes Life Bites!

2009-02-21T19:08:00.010-06:00

“Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.” ~ Paul Gray

It sure is hard to believe that February is almost over! So I thought I had better get in this month's two cents or is that 'sense'? Many times this month I have found myself wondering what the heck I am doing in a day. Just this past week, I just about ran out of gas, had a belt bust on me while driving, had a near collision at 44th and Penn, been mugged, and today I was locked out of my house for awhile because I forgot my pocketbook. Time was that I would have worried about these incidents long past the time of occurrence or ruminated on them till I was sick.

I don't do that anymore. Life is far to short...besides I got home in the nick of time, someone noticed the damaged belt before I had an accident with the car, I did not end up having an car accident, I scared my assailant out of his boots, and as you see I am in my home again thanks to a good neighbor.

My friends, there is a point to all this banter. The thing is this we shall always have little and big things going wrong in our lives; but if we approach it all with a good sense of humor and old fashioned common sense we shall survive! The human condition has always been riddled with ups and downs. As long as we keep our spirits up nothing can get us down.

About My Room Mates

2009-01-30T03:05:00.019-06:00

As you all must know by now I have 4 wonderful cats as members of my household. They include a huge, lovely, orange, Tabby named Morin, a orange and white tuxedo Tabby; Teddy Bear, a black and white tuxedo Manx; Panda, and last but not least my little multi-cald or calico Exotic; Victoria. They each have distinct personalities and each of them have eccentricities.

Morin is a huge male that enjoys ruling the roost; but just when he thinks things are under his control Teddy Bear runs at him and literally falls on him. They don't hurt each other they just seem to be having fun. Morin always retaliates but gently as Teddy is smaller than him. Now roly poly Panda has a way about her that can be both annoying and endearing. She serenades me with a catty, grating, semi-musical yowl every time she is pleased with a situation or herself. Victoria who is a diminutive female sort of lies around observing the others and every once in a while dive bombs Morin when she is in a playful mood. Teddy won't let me go anywhere in the house alone. He must observe everything I do which can be quite disconcerting at times. Whilst he is doing this he too serenades me with his own ceaseless little meow pattern. Often when I am working on my computer one of them; usually Panda or Teddy will sit on my lap and follow whatever I am doing with glimmering eyes and every once a in awhile peer up at me as if to say, "Come on Mom, haven't you done enough now?"

The thing about having these wonderful felines in my home is that they make great company, you can converse with them, you can tell them all your secrets and they never answer you back, tell your secrets, or argue with you. They will sit with you on the couch and watch all your favorite programs with you. They seem to give you their complete attention and they give you hours of joy.

In short dear readers, I simply love living here with my 4 cats in our little cottage in the city!

Someone Out There ....Do You Know The Answer?

2009-01-18T00:42:00.016-06:00

Sometimes I feel like I am very small and insignificant when I must deal with some of the government issues one does at my time of life.

I need health insurance but really can't afford it. I need some insurance to take care of things when I die...you know the cremation, the memorial service and any medical expenses so my family don't have to deal with it. I need dental, vision, and prescription insurance or plans. Where do you get all this stuff and if you are on a fixed income doesn't the government give you some of this here in the USA? Oh no... it is Canada that has Universal health or at least it used to prior to 1998 when I lived there.

I am telling you trying to figure all of this stuff out is a colossal task to say the least. I think I had better do some research. Perhaps I will understand how it works much better once I have read some of the information on the government sights directed to the Seniors.

Who am I kidding? I know that that will only mix me up even more. Now why in heaven's name shouldn't I be able to do this thing? After all I have a 'black belt" in blogging. I know how to set up a website, write articles, use paypal, etc. Why does this task seem so particularly daunting? Oh well...I shall return soon...hopefully with the answers!

Then perhaps I shall feel more like this.-------->

I did point out in the previous article that I would have challenges but that I would conquer them. Awww me!

I shall keep you posted!

Smile: Fortunes Often Turn Around!

2009-01-11T17:31:00.011-06:00

As is true in this life, for me and many others; often there are times when fortunes turn around. I am finally making a nice income even though I am a widow. Now I can enjoy my work on the computer and stop looking for things that will constantly and consistently earn me money. I can implement my knowledge on this machine to research more. I will be able to take a few small risks every now and then. I can use my time on the computer to help other people with their dreams and enjoy myself. I can tell that this year is going to be a great one. Sure I will still have challenges but my life will undoubtedly be more serene. I think that being in the late autumn of my life is only going to get better. Things are turning up that are making my life more pleasant, comfortable and bountiful. They are not only tangible things but the intangible things that are hard to express. I am feeling more optimistic about 2009 than I ever have any other year since my husband died in 2001.

I ask my readers to go to the sites on the side bar and see what I have to offer. Help me to make each day that goes by more fruitful for yourself, myself, and others. Please excuse the fact that bit by bit I am revamping some of my sites. I would appreciate it if you would visit them at least once a week to see the changes.

Here's hoping that 2009 is the very best year of your life to date!

2008-12-28T08:55:00.019-06:00

Well soon it will be a brand New Year! Time sure does fly doesn't it? It doesn't seem to matter whether you are having fun or not. I have often wondered where the traditions of New Year's Eve and Day came from so I looked it up. Click on the word spirit below to see the whole article.

www.whisperandguapo.com

"Symbolically, New Year signifies a renewal of life. Hence, the spirit of celebration for the regeneration, while discarding the old and worn out. The customs and practices, though modified through the centuries, have still their distinctive strains in the ways we welcome each onrushing year."

I don't bother with any resolutions as such anymore. I just try to do the best I can for myself and others that I can throughout the year. I just hope that 2009 works out better than 2008 did. Not that this past year has been so bad; it's just that I hoped I would have more personal and business progress. I do believe that it will be better this coming year. I just have to put a little more 'relaxed' effort into my days and not get all anxious.

So on New Year's Eve and Day where ever you are; if you are in the mood, and you happen to be making your New Years wish or saying a special prayer say one for me please. God Bless all of you and see you in 2009!

Note: Try not to eat too much and if you make resolutions why not do them 'One Day At A Time'?

After the Celebration

2008-12-28T07:06:00.004-06:00

It seems that just as soon as the big day comes it is over before I know it! At least this seems to be the consensus about Christmas day among my friends. A lot of us spend the day after feeling full and uncomfortable. As that particular day goes , 2008 wasn't bad at all. I spent Christmas day with my friend and her children and her grandchildren. She and her daughter put on a wonderful feast! I ate far to much and she sent me home with 'a plate for tomorrow'.

However the next day after the fact I missed my children and Tom horribly. I had my little weep and tried to do some work here on the computer.

My boyfriend, Dennis and I spent quite a bit of time here online yesterday playing a generic game of Scrabble which was a lot of fun! We had the video up and the phone on so we could taunt each other. I need to do some work today. I really hope that I can have my revamped sites up before the first but at the very least by the fifth of January.

I truly hope that you and yours enjoyed a great Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or any other winter holiday you may celebrate in your home!

Problems

2008-12-19T06:59:00.011-06:00

I am having a problem these days. You may have or have not noticed my Personal on some of my sites. I have not talked to my youngest
daughter since December 19th,
2007 to this day of 2008. She was supposed to get in touch with me right after Christmas as she was moving. I didn't

even get to give the kids their presents. I haven't heard from her or my two grandchildren since that day long ago. (that is her to the right)

However I refuse to get depressed; although I have a lot of sad moments. I just feel that the best way to handle it is to pray a lot about it, adopt the idea that maybe no news is good news, and that hopefully we will find each other again. In the mean time I remain pro-active about trying to track them down. You see I think perhaps if we had been on bad terms I might understand this; but we were not. I pray that by Christmas this year or next they will turn up.

If anyone out there has any suggestions please leave them in the comment box. By the way I know my grandchildren would love that picture. They like kitties almost as much as their Grandma does!

Note: I often wondered why we dress our animals similarly to other animals or humans. I don't anymore. Most of the time my cats seem to enjoy it and they go along with the game.

Christmas Coming!

2008-12-06T04:03:00.001-06:00

Christmas, it seems is coming faster every year. I think that thought takes up where my musings went in the last post; so I won't go there.

Here is a thought....doesn't it seem that the commercial part has started earlier and earlier every year. It amazes me to think just how bold the ads are getting too. When I was a child the only product that used Santa was Coca Cola. In those ads they didn't depict him as anything but 'the jolly old elf' himself. Oh yes, he was larger than life but he was recognizable as the same Christmas personality described in 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. There weren't that many knock offs of Saint Nick back in the 50's and 60's.

I love the lights at Christmas but when did it get popular to spend so much on such frills that no one could have any luxuries for the next 6 months. I guess I am just an old fashioned gal and would really truly enjoy the kind of Christmas that I had as a girl with Mass on Christmas Eve and the huge dinner around 2 PM Christmas Day. By the way, I have but one Christmas wish...that is for my younger daughter to get in touch with me and to be able to talk to her and my granddaughters.

So in the tradition of all my Christmases 50 years ago ....I will in say without any doubt at all; "Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus."

The other side of the Christmas coin for me is of course the babe wrapped in swaddling bands in a manger in Bethlehem.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2008-12-03T07:54:00.000-06:00

The time is drawing near for my 61st birthday. It is on the 9th of this month. Often at this yearly juncture, I am amazed again at how fast the time seems to go by in our lives. The strange thing is this; a minute, an hour, a day has always been the same amount of time. So I don't know where on earth we humans get this idea that time 'just flies by' or 'drags along'.

The other thing that comes to my mind is the fact that if I am just conversing with myself I think that I am the same in appearance as I was in my thirties. But then all I have to do is talk to one particular friend and she has me feeling as though I am in a wheelchair, half demented, and blind as a bat. Hey, don't you know that if you want to have a critique of any kind done the best person to ask is your 'best friend'. It is very strange the way they always seem to preface every thing they say with "you do know I love you; right?" Then they always end the conversation with something to this effect. "You know I love you and I only point things out to help you feel better about yourself in the long run." By the time she is gone, I am convinced I have an over sized crooked nose, a strange set of legs and horror of horrors far too much behind me.

But I do have a gentleman in my life who tells me that I am beautiful; albeit, at the oddest moments. For instance, when I have just woken tousle haired from sleep or I have spinach all between my teeth or I have a cold complete with a very huge red nose similar to Rudolph's. Gosh I truly am glad 'that beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and that the man with rose colored glasses is doing the beholding.

However, I try to comfort myself with the idea that I am wiser now. Truth be told, I am not all that wiser. It is just that generally speaking I try not to make too many mistakes in front of others these days. There are still a lot of people in the world that think that life is pretty well over by 55 but I notice that most of them are under 30. What I say is; "just you wait, at my age you won't be ready for the glue factory either". Besides there are an awful lot of us out there and baby boomers although not that young now are still very young at heart.

So I will get myself a cupcake, put a single candle on it, and hopefully blow it out when I make this years wish. What is my wish? Didn't tell anyone what they were when I was young and they generally came true so I am not going to break a habit of a lifetime now.

So...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2008-11-26T03:43:00.000-06:00

I just want to take this opportunity to tell all my readers a very Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope with all my heart that all of you enjoy a good dinner with people you care about in a warm and comfortable home. After dinner do yourself a favor and reflect on all the blessings we have in our world. I have done this for a number of years. It adds to my day, makes me more aware of something besides myself, and gives me a chance to be thankful for others too.

May God's blessings be with you today and throughout the coming year.

Working Round 'The Big Dogs'!

2008-11-25T19:25:00.000-06:00

I visited a website yesterday before it's launch. Everything talked about there appeared to be terrifically encouraging, direct and real as far as being a method to succeed online. Just a few hours ago I visited it after it's launch. I went to look what the price tag would be on it, all along hoping it would be permissive. But at $997 it might as well have been one of those Super Guru's products priced way over $3000. It was way out of my league. Am I disappointed? Yes. Am I surprised? Not at all. I knew the way he talked on his video it would be out of my range. It seemed as though he was ready to be a 'Big Dog'. This is not to say he is a bad person or that the testimonials on his site cannot be believed. I am merely saying he is moving on up in the industry and loosing site of those behind him.

There are people like myself; who are still struggling to make a living. Sure I want to be able to save time; but that is not as important as keeping the lights, water, and heat on. I am working hard to get "there". As always it infuriates me to see brash people on their sales pages say things like 'only this or that price'. These people are not catering to the little guy or gal but the gurus that want to make money with the next workable system or the poor fool that just got a large settlement or inheritance of some kind, or has a credit card that isn't maxed out yet.

I do have quite a few people in this business that I look up to today. But a lot of the other people I perceive them saying; 'I want to help people'; then they turn around and charge unattainable prices for their products. As I have said before; I am not a tire kicker, nor am I addle brained. I am an intelligent determined and articulate lady entrepreneur with little or no capitol; which makes it hard to get from point A to point C. But I will struggle on because I am convinced that I will succeed.

So though I am annoyed at a lot of the people that are selling systems, software, and other products for excessive prices I am here to tell you this. I believe that I shall soon have that experience of going to paypal or my bank account and see the money I have made with my labor. And I won't have to charge high prices, make people feel bad because they can't buy this or that, and I shall end up touching people's lives in a positive manner.

Cat With a Hat Just like Jason's

2008-11-21T07:19:00.000-06:00

I just saw a video that Jason Moffatt made at some seminar in California I think. This young man is irreverent, swears worse than any sailor I have never known, and his appearance is to say the least very 'casual'. Having said that I think he is a truly caring, empathetic, and sincere individual.

I understand a great deal more about marketing and videos than I did before. I have learned that some marketers are very flamboyant and that Jason doesn't mind having a lot of fun.

I went to his blog, and learned a lot about him and what he really cares about. I also learned a lot about marketing from the blog. I got a great deal from his other site here and the accompanying blog as well. He isn't a polished young man but he is definitely on his way to making a great mark in this industry!

Oh by the way Jason, congratulations on the new house!

Ranting about Products Offered on the Net

2008-11-12T14:51:00.000-06:00

I was looking at some new courses and products on the web. I was suddenly stricken with a thought. No wonder these people are millionaires! They not only charge exorbitant fees for all their marvelous 'Can't miss', 'Will make you thousands', and my favorite, 'So easy my 10 year old can do it' products they are trying to sell you. They razzle dazzle you with pictures of all the tangible things they have acquired because of their product. Generally speaking, they didn't get rich using their product but selling it at humongous prices.

There are those that have courses that will probably do what they say and really want to help others; as well as make money; but they are few and far between. The one course I am particularly thinking of has his client/student pay almost $500 and that is only 10% of what the person will end up paying. However the one good thing about his pay system is that the customer is on the honor system and doesn't have to pay the balance until he feels he has earned enough from the fruits of the labor that is associated with the course.

My problem with this whole high priced thing is that I don't consistently make enough yet to be able to afford even one of the few excellent courses or products that are online. I am having fun just trying to keep a roof over my head and food in my stomach.

Of course I suffer from information overload just like everyone else. This month I am trying to weed what I want from what I don't in my email accounts. This is a huge task as I usually get 800 or more each account. Most of the business contacts on my accounts are sending me multiple offers a week, but its spamming if I try to show them something of mine which I believe really unfair! Its not that I don't understand why they technically call it spamming but why shouldn't you take a gander at mine if I have opened and read yours?

Well so much for today's rant. We'll see you in the next post and please feel free to comment if you wish.

Halloween

2008-10-30T03:26:00.000-05:00

When I was a girl Halloween was a very exciting holiday for most of us in our little village. You see I lived in a hamlet called Unionville in Ontario Canada. I remember a one thing very fondly. Mr. and Mrs Clarke Young were an older couple that really made holidays lovely for the town's children. They lived in a large brick house beside the railway tracks that went through the center of our town.

Well most of the children in town; the young ones in particular, made a beeline for the Young's house after only going to 2 or 3 other houses. I remember going up those large stone steps; as if I were pursuing the Holy Grail. Mrs Young would invite us into the vestibule and have us sit on the little bench. She and her husband would spend a few moments guessing what we possibly might be. Then she would rightly guess the obvious ones and feign being complete ignorance on the others. Well then she would tell us that because she hadn't guessed 100% she had better pay the price.

Mrs Young would leave us there with her husband to chat with us. He seemed to really enjoy guessing the ones she hadn't successfully figured out. A few minutes later, this lovely lady would be back with a tray of warm cider or hot chocolate and some kind sweet like chocolate chip cookies or chocolate brownies. As each child finished their 'lunch' they were given a treat bag full of goodies. Most years she made sure that everyone had a taffy apple, some english toffee, some mixed nuts, a couple of lollipops, some marzipan, an apple or orange and a small little toy each individually wrapped so they wouldn't get messy. More often than not we would find another couple of cookies or brownies too.

These lovely people had no children of their own so they made the village children their own in a small way. I don't remember a time; if I met her at the grocery store, at church, or another place around town that she didn't have a small conversation with me. She had the knack of really listening to you and making you feel as though you were the most important person in the world.

I rather think a lot of the other children felt this way about the Youngs. When Christmas time comes I think I shall tell you about the way she made it special for all of us.

I am glad to say, as I got older, I would visit with her in their yard mostly in the Spring, Summer and Autumn. On those days we would have little conversations and keep each other company for a little while. When her husband Clarke died she kept on with their traditions but everyone felt it wasn't the same without him. I can't quite remember but I think that she died around the time I was in my early 20's. It was at that time that our little hamlet seemed to grow and become part of Toronto. Nothing seemed quite right after Jean Young passed away in our village.

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FYI
Thanks to the Celtic people of pre-medieval Europe, we have Halloween. The Celts celebrated the end of the light half of the year with the festival of “Samhain” (pronounced sah-wen), which they observed during the October/November lunar cycle. Costumes and treats were a traditional part of the Celtic celebration. And while Samhain began as a strictly Celtic festival, it is probable that aspects of Roman religion were incorporated into its observance over the four centuries of Roman rule in Britain (43-410 AD). Pomona was the Roman goddess of fruit trees and gardens. Her symbol was an apple. Some scholars believe this may explain how candied apples and bobbing for apples became associated with Halloween. Later with the early Christians, November 1 became All Saints Day or All Hallow's Day. The night before became All Hallow's eve.

As Christianity spread throughout the world, pagan holidays were either Christianized or forgotten. Samhain was absorbed into Halloween. Costumes and gifts and bobbing for apples were preserved, incorporated into the new holiday. They remain a celebrated part of Halloween to this day, many centuries later.

Now that is the history behind Halloween which I got straight off this site: http://www.allabout popularissues.org/origin-of-halloween.htm .

Smokin'

2008-10-28T18:32:00.000-05:00

Ever since I had my first Black Cat unfiltered at 8 or 9 years of age, I have quit at least a dozen times a year. It is a very strange thing. I know they are bad for me, leave an awful odor and taste, and that it doesn't look sophisticated at all. What it amounts to is a dreadful addiction.

Just a word to you younger smokers. It gives you wrinkles before your time and absolutely pulverizes your lung power. Not only that; if you want one you have to go outside of a building which isn't so bad unless its 30 below.

I need to quit because of the coughing I do to clear my throat in the morning, the clothes I have ruined burning them, and the horrible taste in my mouth all the time except when I have just brushed my teeth. Most of all, I want to live a few more years cancer free if posible although I can't undo what I have done.

To the young folks out there, take an elder's advice and don't start! As for me, I shall keep on quitting one day at a time.

Spirit Mind And Body

2008-10-17T01:00:00.000-05:00

Lately it has been hard for me to sit at my work station for very long. If I do I experience a lot of pain. This is my excuse for not writing very much of late and I'm sticking to it. Evidently most sources site that anywhere from 600,000 to a million people get shingles in the US each year. I happen to be one of the over 50's that has contracted it. By the way the majority of the people that have them are over 50. Add to that agonizing scoliosis, compacted discs at my neck, carpal tunnel syndrome in my left hand and excruciating arthritis in my limbs and back.

Now that I have given a litany of what ails me; I can tell you where I am mentally and spiritually these days. I state with some pride that the old brain pan works quite well; if I remember to use a calendar to keep track of appointments. It takes a little longer for the old messages to travel round my body from my brain these days but they get there. Spiritually I think that most days I feel a great deal of comfort from my faith. It works if I meditate and pray every day. As for what I believe, I won't share that here as I think that faith is a very personal thing.

The only thing that brings my spirits and thinking down is not being able to get a large 'list' built for all my business endeavors. Oh and burning my scrambled eggs the other day. Hopefully the list will grow and I will watch the eggs more carefully the next time.

What are YOU struggling with?

2008-09-18T23:21:00.001-05:00

What are YOU struggling with? See what Stuart Valentine has to say about this subject!

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My Malfunctioning Income

2008-08-13T11:51:00.001-05:00

There are malfunctions all over the net lately. They say that doing something is as easy as pie; and it continues to be a hassle. Trying to get a website up is like pulling teeth, trying to get paid for things (see previous article) is next to impossible and honesty on the net is at a premium. I feel like things are not the way they should be. I have not got satisfactory answers to many enquiries I have submitted. It amazes me how things like the BBB Online, The Better Work at Home Business Bureau, and The Federal Trade Commissions not only don't answer the complaints one submits but really don't seem interested when the little guy gets gypped. Such sites as Data Processors at http://www.dataprocessors.org are one of the companies that have not paid me for my work. There are other sites which I will probably sight in later postings that have told me that I will make money and I have made little or nothing with them. My online enterprises are my income and because I don't have big business bank account to impress people with it seems as though success often alludes me. No I am not feeling sorry for myself I am merely making my problems public on this blog to see if others feel the same way. Comments are always appreciated. I would appreciate no solicitations.

Not Amused

2008-06-29T17:24:00.000-05:00

I am not at all happy with a company that I have been working for on a daily basis. This particular company is dataprocessors.org. I became a gold member after doing their free program for some time. I didn't get paid the dollar any of the assignments for the free program at all. They claim the company had changed hands and kind of shrugged responsibility for the free program off. Fine ...I still want my pay.

I have been doing the Gold assignments for a total of 54 days up until a couple of weeks ago. My last letter told them that if I did not receive a letter of explanation from them within 48 hours I would write about my problem on my blog. Once that number of assignments turn to 60 the first 30 days were due to be paid. Each assignment was worth $10 so they owe me $540 to date of which $300 should have been paid once I hit the 60th assignment which they did not allow me to do. I have gone to the email were I found my assignments daily. For the last few weeks that I was doing assignments, I had to play catch up because of thunderstorms or tornado warnings or both, my old computer getting repaired, and then my new computer being set up by my tech. So there were a few days I had to play "catch up" and I wrote Data Processors about the problems at their support email. I did not receive any letters or notification back what so ever!

I believe that the people behind dataprocessing.org owe me a for both my free assignments and my gold member assignments. The very least they could do is write me about the situation. I would still be more than happy to continue with my gold membership if they could be honest about things, let me carry out my next six assignments, pay me my first $300 and then not cause anymore fuss nor ever give me cause to to believe they just may lack integrity in the future. So come on people at Data Processors be honest, pay up, and let me continue my little job with you!

It may interest all of you out there on the Web to know that I enjoyed this little job and I believe I did it to the very best of my ability. I am also an affiliate and I will cease being an active affiliate until they make good on what they owe me for both the data processing and the affiliate links.

Note: People at the desk for support@dataprocessors.com please write me!

A bit of a Mull!

2008-06-24T14:56:00.002-05:00

It is very hot here. Its too bad our scientists can't utilize human perspiration; I would be a rich woman if they could.

I am having problems loading things of the affiliate nature onto some of my sites but I think I will find a solution to this problem. This making a living online isn't always such an easy thing to do lately. But I know that things will work out because I know what I am offering the public are sound good products. (You heard me rant last month...now I am giving myself a little pep talk.)

That brings to mind the weird way in which companies take off discounts on different products. The one that comes to my mind adds all their fees and such together, then taxes the product, and then takes the discount off. That doesn't seem fair to me....why should I be paying for the taxes on the discounted portion?

Okay now here is another problem that I have been mulling over in my mind. Just why is it that people in general aren't as friendly as they used to be when I was young? Is it that I remember only the good day to day things and my child's heart just forgot about the real witch like folks around me? Or are people really a lot more distant than they used to be back then? Sure would like your comments on this one! I mean I am far from naive; but my spiritual side just wishes for people to be a lot more neighbourly. (Forgive me I am a Canadian and often spell things the way I was taught.)

Well that's about all I have on my mind today. Hope your day turns out to be full, happy and abundant! Think I am going to take a hint from our little friend there and go get myself an iced raspberry tea.

Weather

2008-05-09T07:29:00.000-05:00

We have been having, for the most part a lot of rain here south of the Mason Dixon Line. A lot of thunderstorms and tornado warnings. So far there hasn't been any tornadoes in my area of the city; knock on wood. But what I really want talk about how much inclement weather affects this techno-cat. We had a lot of rain from April 29th to May 9th which is today. Now we have been fortunate to have 2 or 3 days without precipitation.

I drove about 5 miles to Ted's computer shop last Friday to have my machine looked at, She was 'blue screening' overtly and rebooting when I didn't ask her to do it. I left her there with him so he would have time to work on her. Ted phoned me later late Saturday afternoon to come pick her up. He had replaced my power supply and well he was in there I asked him to give me some more ram which he did. The bad news was that I may have to exchange the old girl for a new one as the main board isn't long for this world.

I can hear you saying to yourselves, "What has inclement weather got to do with having her computer fixed?" Bare with me friends; things are about to be connected. The bad weather, having to take the old girl to the hospital, and my self-employment do not get along together. Since April 29th I have missed 7 days due to the proverbal cats and dogs, and a day and half on account of a sick computer. That left only 3 and a half days to get almost 2 weeks work done.

Alright, now here is my question folks: With all the technology out there can't they come up with a sound, inexpensive, dependable, surge protector? One that does what it is supposed to so people like me can run their computers any and every day? Why does my work have to stop because fickle, old, Mother nature decides to give us April showers in May?
I have half a mind to get in direct touch with the people that create such electronical devices and ask them to give me one of those gadgets for a decent price.

Well now don't we all feel better? Ruth has gotten that off her chest and my corner of the world is a safe, quiet, place once again.

The Fella Behind Pizzatherapy

2008-02-06T06:45:00.000-06:00

Albert Grande first caught my eye in late 1998. He owns Grande Publishing and his passion is making, finding, smelling, eating, and writing about pizzas. His site is literally amazing. I have had the pleasure to have gotten acquainted with him by email in the last couple of years. This gentleman has a pleasant, generous, spirit. He obviously loves life and approaches it with a great deal of vigour.

You can go see his site at Pizzatherapy and find a multitude of wonderful recipes for both pizza and pasta but his main focus is the pizza. You can even purchase an excellent cookbook; by Albert. He named it 'The Pizza Therapy Pizza Book' and it includes with it a video called 'How to Make Pizza Dough'. Right on site Albert has some interesting videos about pizza dough, pizza making, along with some fun videos. This site is definitely for both the beginner and aficionado.

Albert is also someone that enjoys sharing anything he may know about Internet Marketing. He has many links on his site for the novice as well as someone who has been around for a while. He often reviews new products as well. You can find out all sorts of interesting things about him and his beautiful adopted tropical home state at Hawaii! You can find Hawaii Secret Dot Com here.

In my eyes, Albert Grande emulates the true meaning of a 'Renaissance Man'!

*Albert just put a lovely video on his site at Hawii Secret Dot Com. Go here and catch a taste of Hawaii! Click on How to Make A Haku Lei under video links on the left at his site above!

Websites Can Be Hurtful.

2008-01-13T22:16:00.002-06:00

I went to a website just a couple of minutes ago. I am to say the least disgusted and disappointed in this young man's sales page demeanor. He says, 'If $69 is too much of a "risk" for you to alleviate the dozens of hours of work (literally) to get quality traffic to your site, then Internet marketing simply is not for you'. I find this offensive. How does he know that about any of us out here? He doesn’t know my circumstances. I find this offensive. There are those among us who are struggling to make a living.... want to be able to save time....but that is not as important as keeping the lights, water, and heat on. I am working hard to get "there". So perhaps this person will see my posting. I certainly hope so because he should know that he appears to be on many levels a self-righteous knowitall.

It just infuriates me to see brash people on their sales pages say things like 'only $197' or 'only $69'. These people are not catering to the little guy or gal but the gurus that are either known or underground or some poor fool that just got a big income tax return, settlement, large monthly dividend or inheritance. I did have quite a few people in this business that I looked up to but now there are not many as say in 2004. I perceive a lot of them saying 'I want to help people'; then they turn around and charge enormous price tags for their products. Excuse me, I am not a tire kicker, nor am I a 'bear of lttle brain'; like the beloved Pooh. I am an intelligent determined and articulate lady entrepreneur with little or no capitol; which makes it hard to get from point A to point C but I will because I am convinced that I will succeed.

So though I am annoyed at a lot of the people that are selling systems, software, and other products I am here to tell you that I do believe in myself. I know that I shall soon have that experience of going to paypal and shrieking with delight over the money I have made. And I won't have to charge excessive prices or say things on my sales pages that make people feel crappy. You see unlike some on the net I want to be uplifting to others, help them, and touch their lives in a positive manner.

The New Year...It is almost here!

2007-12-31T10:44:00.000-06:00

I think that the New Years will bring with it a lot of success for us all. I for one am determined to be more helpful to my friends online and in doing so hopefully a nice income will come with that activity. I am hopefully going to get down to business and give you a whole lot of new information for your pleasure and your financial well being. Perhaps the two of us can make a good living, be happier and have a lot more freedom in 2008. To all my friends online I wish you a very healthy, happy and prosperous New Year.

Blogging Must Have A Purpose.

2007-12-20T06:43:00.001-06:00

I believe it is very important to have a purpose behind your blogging. Whether it is to promote some sort of new marketing system, coaching software, ebook or if it simply to state one's opinion on a particular subject. Most of the people I know a bit online work hours that are convenient for them. I find creating a blog rather than a web site allows you to work a lot less hours once you got the initial blog up and running. I also find that my writer's heart enjoys creating a blog a lot more. I truly wish I understood the act of making money online a whole lot better. One hopes when all is said and done the bottom line is to help others but it doesn't hurt to make some income for yourself and to have some fun doing it all.

Lately I have been paying attention to some other fine bloggers. Rich Schefren is a young man who has real integrity about his work on the net. I suggest you take a look at his site, just click to the right under interesting Links. There is a lovely young lady named Jinger Jarrett that has managed to answer a multitude of questions for me both as a writer and internet marketer. Lonny Linquist is one gentleman who is more than generous with his talents and a lot of free software. Albert Grande is another fellow that bears mentioning. He is more than generous with
his time. These are just three of the good, honest and understanding folk you can find on the net. All these people have more than one purpose to their blogging of course; but they all want to help others succeed as well.

Some Clarification of Intentions

2007-12-08T04:55:00.000-06:00

When I started this Blog it was with the intention of helping my readers learn from and with me all about writing for fun and profit. In the last month things have strayed from that original purpose. We all make mistakes but I think for me it is a case of my work morphing into something which will help me succeed.

I think I will stay with the original purpose generally speaking but given my quirky sensibility it will evolve a little left of center. Writing is a craft as a lot of people think but it is also very recreational and extremely cleansing as with journals and autobiographical material. Soon I hope to have a web site that features things like copywriting courses and other affiliations to sites that devote their material to writing. Whether it is a good, honest, nonpatronizing sales page, a well constructed landing page, or just a page full of the authors thoughts for that day it can all be very enlightening .

Today I am just going to leave you with a task. If you could please leave some comments on this article it would be appreciated. Tell me what kind of things you would like to know more about and I shall try to incorporate it in later articles. I don't want this blog to be merely a monologue but a chance for me to exchange ideas with others. Hopefully this will enrich both our lives. I think that Terry Pratchett said it best; "Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself"; but I say writing is a shared experience or it has no worth.

I Don't Believe in Humbugs

2007-11-28T03:05:00.000-06:00

Christmas will be upon us before we know it. For myself that isn't such a bad thing. I try to ignore all the commercialism though and yes that is a challenge. For me the season isn't eminent until about two weeks before the twenty-fifth. But like the real world, the virtual is gagging with Christmas giveaways, graphics and specials. And like their counterparts, online shoppers are after bargins or the latest thing in whatever venue.

Now shopping in itself isn't a bad thing but I maintain that one must not over extend oneself too much. People, generally speaking, run on the old 'keeping up with the Joneses' method. That is not a good thing. The average household can put themselves in credit card hell this way. Whatever happened to the old adage, 'It is the thought that counts'?

As an observer of Christmases past, I have seen children, from ages 4 to 18, throw temper tantrums because they did not get the absolutely most sought after thing-ma-bobby or whatsit. I have seen wives and husbands angry at each other for weeks after Christmas because they didn't get exactly what they had ordered from 'Santa'. Never mind the singular original idea behind the holiday.

Where has the Christmas Spirit been exiled to in this 21st century? Where is the appreciation for the wonderful smells wafting from the kitchen, the popcorn strings or paper chains, and the tradition of families getting together to be together? Where are the simple greetings gone, the surprises of the yule tide, and that unbottled brand of good cheer?

Perhaps I am a smidgeon nostalgic. But I am ready for the kind of Christmas I had when I was a little girl. When everyone gathered around the table, someone praying over the feast, and watching the men in the family letting their belts out a notch. The joy of receiving small gifts from an Aunt or second cousin in England from the post office. And when the 'elf' of the year handed out the abundance from under the tree, feeling fortunate indeed to have gotten as many presents as there were fingers on one tiny hand.

But most of all I hunger for the wonder and anticipation of Christmas Eve Mass with my family. The joyful carols, the scent of evergreen throughout the church, and the Christmas Story told once again. Memories can never be repeated but traditions can be preserved. There are loved ones to whom one can wish good tidings. If they are faraway, then celebrate Christmas with special friends. Be like Scrooge after he got the message from the three apparitions. 'Hold Christmas in your heart throughout the year'. God Bless us everyone.

Catnap

2007-11-04T09:37:00.000-06:00

I have been trying to figure out just what to do to make a living on the net. When I originally started this blog, it was going to be a part of a membership site. Right now I cannot afford to dally about with it. So I have decided to turn this into a more personal blog were I can write some of the things twirling around in my gray mater. I will succeed in business but it probably would be better to do it elsewhere. I am compelled to use this space as a place where my racing mind takes a break and perhaps gains some serenity.

I have a very close girlfriend who is moving up North and part of me was truly happy for her when I heard the news. However, there was another side, if I am honest that definitely was a little envious because she is doing it before me. You see, I have been talking about leaving this part of the country for the past 3 years. However, after being on the phone with her the other day I realized just how absolutely stressed out she was I started feeling very empathetic towards her. If I am to go ahead with my plan to move north I must impliment my common sense very soon. I know now that I must have a 'blueprint' to get from here to there. I need to find a way of dealing with the tangible things so that my inner life remains calm and the stress doesn't get the better of me.

Every time I think of making the move I become overwhelmed thinking about all the sorting, discarding, packing, and the decisions that go with that territory. At those moments I hear my Mother's voice say, 'Where there is a will there is a way'. I wonder now if it isn't a mad woman's mission to move so far away. It feels almost impossible at times for me, to be even considering the task of moving house and home at my age. Hey I know - I not getting older but better. However its another thing to tell my back and bones that sweet homely. I think maybe going slightly crackers in this instance is one prerogative. Perhaps the best thing to do is just try to write triumphantly and continue attempting to be the very best I can be moment to moment.

I need a good nap and a cat to talk to now.